A promise made too long time ago...

I remembered a promise made by 2 kids years ago... 2 kids that did not know enough, 2 kids that were trying not to make plans regarding the future, 2 kids that wanted and felt there's a too big world to discover.

I think this memory is almost 3 years old by now. I always envied people that could remember exactly the age they had when something happened; I was never capable of doing that. But I admired those people. But I was always envied by my friends because even if I could never remember the moment when it happened exactly, I could always remember all the small details from any event/meeting. Anyway, I think this happened 3 years ago. It was a cold summer/autumn night, 2 o'clock at night and we were in a place which was about to close. We were the last customers and they were trying to make us leave. We did not talk until that moment for some months and we needed to catch up with everything that we lost.

But again, just like 2 kids, we were always back to the same subject: us. It all started like a game, we were trying to have fun and discover new things. But as always, things got complicated and before we knew, we were in a different story that we knew we could not deal with at that age, in those conditions. And in that night, 3 years ago, we end up talking about what we are doing. In that weird night we made a promise, we were too young, we wanted to discover the world, new friends etc, so we could not be together then; but we will meet and talk about that in 5 years from that moment and maybe, start a relationship or whatever.

Now, when that memory came in my mind, it made me think about how we acted as kids actually. Because now, a 24 years person in a few months, I'm not seeing what happened with the same eyes. God, life is passing by and moments don't come back for ever... And that promise made me feel always comfortable with my life and my feelings, because I was always hoping that I have that as my back-up. Now, something changed and I cannot see it with the same eyes. To believe in that idea from now on, it seems for me that I need to believe, really believe in a destiny. But I always believed that you also have an influence in what is happening, not just that the destiny is being fulfilled.

I always saw myself, even if we made that silly promise, as a free person. We were never jealous, angry or over-protective. I always lived my life as a free person, with no strings attached and I was always discovering new persons, new cultures, new things about myself. Last week I felt that I maybe I need to get over and stop believing in that silly promise 2 kids made. This is the bad part of this story: I lost faith in him, I don't trust him any more and I told him that before I left the country. He promised again to win my trust back, but maybe promises are made to be broken.

We are leaves in the wind, who are you to tell that you are going to land in a specific place in the future? No matter how hard you try... you might not succeed. Who are you to tell that something is going to happen for sure? Why don't you take advantage of the present time, which is a present like all the saying are saying, and make the best out of it. Because sometimes we are kids that are making promises...

Friends

Last days were pretty relaxed for me. I had time to do my job, my work and most of all I had the time to rest. Again obliged by the lack of electricity, or like last night, by own will, because I managed to sleep 12 hours. Apparently I was very tired and sleeping 12 hours really helped me to get some rest :)

In the last week, I talked with friends I did not talk for a looong time and it felt very good. I remember that when I left home I was thinking who is going to talk to me while I will be there, who will be in contact with me etc. And apparently, some people still remember me, some people still talk with me or read my blog.

Also I'm very happy because even after a long time being apart, I'm still connected with my MC team from Romania. I talk with them pretty often (or at least a part of them), and somehow, no matter how much time passes by, we still know about each other, what we are doing, where we are etc. I can start realizing that this team will be close to my heart no matter what and we will be friends over the years... That makes me happy, proud and grateful.

But what I know for sure is that now I'm discovering who really represents a good friend for me, who can really understand my passion and the reasons for me coming in this country, who still cares about what is happening to me while being here.

Unfortunately, I can realize I changed and I'm not the same person, mainly because of the situations I had to deal with since I was here (most of them personal), that I know that the relations I have now are affected by that. Sometimes I am sad about it, because I cannot change my behaviour or I cannot find a way to do that yet, and I can realize how the relations I have are affected and I don't like it. But hopefully, the good and important friends I have are going to accept the new person I am and together we will find a way to maintain the relation in the future.

I'm really excited about spending the Christmas holiday at home with family and friends. Sometimes I'm dreaming at night that I forgot some presents or things to do before my departure, but I wake up and realize I have plenty of time to arrange everything and not to worry.

Finding the new you

After almost 4 months I started even more to change. And I can realize a lot more easier the changes I'm going through. And I appreciate in a strange way all the cultural shocks.

I appreciate the lack of electricity. After you finish all your work on a paper and you even reply in writing to your urgent e-mails, you can rest. You are actually obliged to rest, because there's nothing else you can do. And it's not that bad :)

I plan the meetings with a buffer time of one hour at least, because I don't know what might happen, so sometimes I finish work earlier because everything happened in time (my time :) ), sometimes I finish just in time because everything happened in the buffer time :)

We know we cannot find anything opened after 10 p.m., so before that we know we need to make sure that we have everything we need for that night - cigarettes, alcohol, water etc. So that way, rarely we are missing something at night :)

I also started to change for a personal point of view; even my parents realize the changes I'm going through. I'm cleaning very often my locker, I'm taking more care of my things, I'm more reserved in buying food (because I don't have enough money and because I don't need everything), I'm buying only important and useful things, I'm washing my own clothes, I'm cooking a lot more than at home. Also, I know that now I cannot work in dirty rooms, I like clean things and organized, I still don't eat the cookies I'm baking... and so many things. I also know that you never know what the future will be in the moment you decide anything, so specially in the case when you are leaving from your loved ones, make sure you will not regret anything that might happen. And I've become even more patient and diplomatic - I never knew I can I do it even more :)

And then is the other thing we realized we are going through... we are always trying new things (specially from the food point of view), mostly because we are trying to find the things we like at home. Peru is still searching for "that" bread, I'm still looking for that "cheese" and Sasha is still searching for "that" chocolate. And it's funny... because this little things, when you actually discover them, they are making you so so happy... so now we are even more aware of how little things can make your day :)

And I never actually miss home. I don't actually miss the persons in my life, I'm still talking with them so everything is pretty normal. I'm missing the things I'm used to... my car, the buses, a coffee in Saturday morning in a bakery, shopping with my parents every weekend, a club with my girls. I'm missing habits...

But now I'm starting to be more happy. I'm starting to assimilate everything that happened to me from the moment I came here, I'm even more aware of the reasons I decided to come, I'm starting to communicate with people around me in a more profound way (persons from home, but also persons from DR), I discovered which persons are really important to me and I want to keep as friends, and most important... I have my tickets for the Christmas holiday in Romania. So now, I know I will spend 3 weeks in my home :) for sure :) And on my way to Romania I will have the change to visit a little bit Madrid and Rome :) Maybe someone wants to join me? (please reply to my e-mail :P )

PS: yesterday when I was preparing myself to go and buy the ticket, at 7 in the morning, I felt on the stairs and I hurt my hand pretty bad; and it's the right hand, which already had problems. But I was thinking that was a small price I had to pay for my trip to Romania. And I knew all along I'm going home for Christmas; I had a Polo red Volkswagen that drove in from of me the entire road... so I knew I had a small help from my good friend and that he wants me to get home :)

Be there for us... we need you...

One week ago I managed to watch the Romanian 7 o'clock news live on the internet. I was so happy that I could connect for one hour live with my country. I was so happy that I could see commercials and interviews with famous people in Romania. Unfortunately, I got very sad in the next second... all the news were so bad, negative and irrelevant. And I think I did not observe this before, when I was in the country, at this intensity... I really did not like anything in it: stupid news, stupid excuses, lies, unimportant and irrelevant stuff...

Actually I feel every day that this experience is becoming more and more personal for me. I realize what I like, what is important for me, who is important, what I appreciate, every little personal detail about me. I don't like the news in my country. I don't miss them, I don't learn anything new from them, they only make me want to change something in order for my kids not to be influenced by them. I like neat things, cleanness, order and I like to see things around me organized or otherwise I cannot work. I cannot lie and I don't see any purpose in telling people what is my financial status or my family's status. I don't like to pretend. I like to clean and cook, but I like when people appreciate what I did and they don't behave like I'm their maid.

I also got a little bit scared about my future. Maybe it's because of all the events in my life in the last months/years, maybe it's because I feel the pressure again to make a decision about my next year. Usually in AIESEC getting closer to November, means that you should decide your next year, because you need to apply for that position. I started to get scared, because next year I'm going to be 24, single, without a job, doing volunteering work? From personal point of view, I'm playing. From professional point of view, I'm discovering. How much more can I do this? Don't I want to get married until 30, maybe have a kid? I want to still be the kid and to play and discover? Or maybe I can do all of them?

The thing that is in my mind a little bit more powerful is represented by the people in my life. My friends or not really. I can really start to see what they represent for me, what I want from them, what I represent for them, what they want from me... And I'm starting to take decisions about them. My team here told me that maybe I should wait a little bit more until I take decisions, but I feel that without me wanting, I'm starting to "create" the decisions...

Aerosmith said it so good in the song called Dream on:

Sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good lord will take you away

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHRNSeuvzlM

I don't want to be mean, but being to far away from my friends helped me realize a little bit more easily how you feel in this situation. Is not that you want to threat them, but slowly you drift away... if I ask your help and you postpone me, the second chance might not show up. But also, like it happen to me... you never know what might happen and maybe tomorrow you will not be able to talk with me anymore... or I might not come back home, because I might start thinking that I have no reason to come back home...

Away from home, so far away, without the possibility to go back every 2 months, makes you see the things a little bit more fixed. If you want to flex them, you need to talk with your friends which are so far away. We need to hear some things every once in a while, because we are not there to see them how we used to...

Last day

Today I remembered the last day I spent in Romania. The last 24 hours and what I have done.

I remember how I went to Ali to tell him goodbye and how I stood with him in front of my building for the last time. The discussions we had and that we said we will not say goodbye, how we promissed we will talk often and that he will answer my e-mails as soon as possible. I remember the last time I talked with Bogdan and what he told me, including the fact that he will not see me to tell me goodbye. I remember how I was running to do my insurance papers and the last meeting with my girls. That last time I drank my coffee at Starbucks and how it was. I remember that I was so pissed off about the insurance and that I tried to not think about the fact that I will not see my girls for one year, and that when I left I didn't want to hug them or kiss them or even saying goodbye, but that I left crying and they don't know that. I remember how I cried all the way home, thinking how much I will miss my girls.

I even remember the feeling I had when I was in the MC office of AIESEC Romania for the last time. I took so many pictures with all the desks and rooms, I was so so sad. I was already missing my team, my work, my Alumni. I remember the last look I took in the office, the last look I took from my window in my own room, the last look I took at my room and how I put very fast, right before I got out of the house, a picture with me and my mom. Just in case.

Now, I'm thinking about the feeling I will have the last time I will see the MC office in the Dominican Republic. My God! One of the most craziest years in my life, being MC VP and then being MCP, a wonderful team, a crazy team, a team that believed and strived for excellence, friends I will never forget and hopefully I will meet around the world in my future life, my bed, my desk, the rooms, the washing machine, the couch, the chairs, the building. And I'm on my way to the airport, I'm going home. Or maybe I'm going somewhere in Europe for one week for holidays. But I'm leaving... and I'm again sad...

Last night I had such a wonderful dream. I was so tired and I went to sleep early, but I managed to dream something. I was already home, after 1 year and he was there hugging me, telling me that this trip was so good even for him, because he managed to think and analyze everything. I don't know if I'm in love, I don't think I can be with a person I haven't seen in so many months, but what he was telling me there seemed so normal and natural. And I felt so protected and safe. Maybe I'm associating the home image with him and this is why I felt like that. Maybe it's wrong to think like that and maybe I should use this period in order to sort things in my life. Maybe it's good because I realize that actually I want him and I will never be able to change that. But it doesn't matter right now, I think... I think it matters that after that dream I felt more happy, more protected, more safe, more willing to do my job... I felt better. I think that's all that matters :)

I want to thank, again, everybody for your support. You know with what you contributed and that I'm thanking you for something. Thank you for your dreams, for my dreams, for your time, for the influence, for the good memories, for the conferences, for the coffees, for the "cico"s, for the nights and days spent together, for every every thing! Thank you!

Memories

Lately I tend to think very much about home, about what is happening in life in general, about what we do on a daily basis...

The other days, I was watching a video on youtube and I realized that watching that movie I was thinking only about home, about my country, about my friends, about... memories. And my mind was flying between all my memories... my entire life was flashing in front of my eyes.

I was in a concert of my favourite artist one year ago, at the seaside with my friends. Then I was in the plane, going 10.000 km away from home to conquer new mountains inside me. Then I realized I miss the guys in my life, even though I wanted to forget about them and think clearly just about myself. But then I realized that I'm so far away from anything known for me, I'm in a country with a different culture, with different personalities, nothing is anymore known... But I was in a plane with a guy and I was leaving to a new country... and I always asked myself, why did him took the same plane with me...

I'm doing right now so many things I would not normally do if I were home, I'm part of one of the most international teams possible, I'm thinking all the time in English, not Romanian, and I already started to switch sometimes to Spanish... But I wonder what I am going to do with my masters, am I going back after this year to finish it, am I taking one more year of break, what?

Oh... and then I remembered about how many interviews I had to give for my CSR project, how the PR manager taught me how to talk with radios and TV stations and what to tell in the interview. Or when we did promotion for our recruitments or when I talked with 200 people in a room about AIESEC and how nervous I was...

And then I woke out to reality. My friend is really gone, I will never see him again, but my life moves on. And that's so weird... I have so many reasons to be happy, but sometimes it seems so weird to do that. It seems so sad... life has to move on, life moved on... maybe he will always know that I will never be trully happy, but he will be happy that my life is getting better...

Remembering home :)

Sunday in Santo Domingo... like I previously mentioned, nothing is opened or everybody is staying inside, spending time with their families. Yesterday was Father's Day in Dominican Republic, so again no one was out.

Fortunately, some persons were free and we did something which reminded me of home: we went to a local supermarket. It reminded me of home, because usually, during week-ends in Romania, I go shopping with my parents. It's like a tradition... I don't know exactly why we are doing that, maybe because my mom gets bored in the house or because we need to buy food for the entire week, but it's a tradition for me. And yesterday I did the same thing here.

We went to buy food for 3 days. We did it in a very cool way: we calculated for each meal what we want to cook/eat and we were careful with the money. We did not spend too much or we didn't buy things we didn't really need. I bought nectarines and when I ate them I felt like home :) I always tried to explain to everybody back home that life here is much more expensive, because of the inflation maybe. So, for example, yesterday we spent almost 200 RON for the food for 2-3 days. That's just because we were very very careful. Otherwise, in McDonalds for example, you pay for a full menu 20 RON. Which for me it's very expensive in comparison with Romania.

But today it was a totally different story. There are so many things that remind me of home. And so many things that I do just because something from home remindes me that I should do. Every stupid thing sticks to your mind when you are all alone and you need to take care of yourself. For example, I always check my nails or my ears, just because my mom was obsessed that I do that every day before I left home to work or any meeting. And from the other point of view, things that remind me of home: the "stuffed" animals :) Back home I have a small lion and a bear from Ferrari called Pini :) and a donkey called Iha :) And sometimes when I'm talking with my parents on Skype they show them. Today my parents asked me to smile and to really kiss them :) and then they showed the animals to me. It was for the first time then I cried. But I managed to finish the conversation before they realized that I was crying...

Today was the first official day when I realized I miss home, my parents, how I used to make jokes with them, the confort, the food, the fact that I didn't need to take care of every little thing concerning me...

Unaware

Maybe it is my fault also... maybe I've been looking for it. But what I can honestly admit, I don't know what I feel anymore.

Yesterday it was the first day when we decided we want to start visit the city. I was so so happy that finally we were starting to move and stop working :) We went to visit the aquarium, which is very nice. Nothing like Romania, very cute organized and it looked really nice. They had so many types of fishes and turtles... and then you could see the sea, which was so interesting... We don't have that in Romania and the feeling to have the water in front of you, that big water... with the rocks and stuff... Part of me was feeling like I was in Greece, but the temperature reminded me that I was in the Carribean.

After we visited the aquarium, we wanted to visit something more. We had all our cameras, I had my video camera, so... why not try more? So we went to see Faro a Colon (Columb's lighthouse). Very weird building, in a cross shape, but horizontally, because it has some lights on it and if they are powered on, they project on the skype the shape of a cross. The building is not spectacular in beauty, but just by being weird and because of the idea it had in the back, it's interesting.

This is where the fun begins. You know... if you see a spider-web... some of them have something already caught in the web, in order to attrack other victims. Thinking at what happened yesterday, I feel the same. Somewhere, in the park next to the lighthouse, there was a ball. Yes, a steel ball. So we were curious to find out what it was, so we walked to check it out. I don't think it took more that 3 minutes and 2 guys showed up, took their guns out and they asked for everything. We just froze and we gave everything. They took my bag, which had the video camera, the cell-phone and the wallet, which had all all ID cards from Romania, money and MasterCard/Visa cards. Everything happened in less than 30 seconds. We were lucky because they didn't spend too much time so they missed a phone (so we could call immediately to block our cards) and the car keys. Also, we got lucky because apparently, there was a chance of not getting alive from there. Learning point: never look in their eyes/faces; look down - otherwise you might not get out alive. But, no one told anything before about this so, we looked at them... that was one little mistake we did :)

For me this entire experience is completely weird. First it is my fifth time in one year an half when I'm very close to dying. Second, because my good friend passed away one month ago shot by a gun. Third, because when the plane took off I was so calm...I said to my self, if the plane crashes, I'm totally satisfied with everything. I don't regret anything. But yesterday, I didn't want to die like that. And when I saw the guns, my mind was totally occupied with my friend. He died like that. Will it happen to me also?

I don't know what to say. I don't know what I feel. All the details are written here. Everybody is ok, we didn't get hurt, we are all alive. I don't want to come back home, I'm not scared about that... but I don't know what I feel anymore. And I cannot understand why is this happening to me so often?! All I know right now is that I'm really confused...

One month in Wonderland

I just celebrated one month in the Dominican Republic.

The strangest thing is that I'm not shocked and I don't feel like I don't belong here or I miss home. I don't miss home, I don't wait to go home, I'm just doing my work. Every day I wake up, going downstairs in the office and start working. Sometimes I go to the LC office and help them with some events or work in their office. Everything seems so normal for me. I was afraid that I might be tired without any holiday after the MC term in Romania. But actually I feel that I didn't finish it and it's just continuous work. I'm working during week-end, during the nights sometimes, on last-minute things, but this is normal for me. I did that for 3 years already. I cannot stop or I cannot wish for something else for me. It's so normal...

During this month, I learned more about the culture, about the people here, about me, and also about more cultures. During our informal meetings, with the members, EPs, trainees etc, we realized that we are one of the most international team possible. When we watched the final football match from the World Championship, we were in the same room almost 15 different countries: Romania, Russia, Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, France, Marocco, Peru, Czech Republic, Slovakia, Canada, USA, Portugal, Columbia, Costa Rica. Which is so cool, because you can discover so many things about so many countries, in the same place: Dominican Republic. But in the same time, it's not so good. This country needs to get on its feet and to start working by itselves. It's not cool to have so many cultures if they are represented by trainees and by MC members or CEEDers.

Why we call it Wonderland? Because you never know what is going to happen:

* the electricity might went off
* something might blow on the street
* a bar might ask you your ID card (even if you are 23 years old)
* everything closes at 22:00 (including Gas stations)
* bars in week-ends close at 1:30 a.m.
* the code phone is 001 like in the USA
* the lights of the street are powered by the supermarket on the street (so everytime the supermarket closes, the street lights went off)
* a weird guy passes on the street at the same hour with a horse ride
* people twitter while jogg
* when the electricity wents off so does the water and the internet
* you have AC everywhere except houses where people live (usually, in a bus, you open the window to get some fresh air; here you open it to get heat inside the bus)
* Sunday everybody stays inside the house (not even supermarkets are opened on Sundays)
* even though Dominican Republic is an island, people here don't know how to swim,
* if you want to listen international music good luck finding a place where you can do that
* if you want to find out where Irish Pub is good luck with that one also
* and so many more we cannot remember now

So far, my entire experience was very interesting for me. I discovered how to be very pacience and how to open my mind very much in order to understand so many cultures and the country. I will try in the future to write more often about my experience here... maybe I will have time :)

PS: we just started the recruitment and I need to tell you that is very interesting to be MC VP Communication that does the work of OC Promotion of a recruitment :)

Blank week

Apparently I have to write...

It was a full week for me, but unfortunately everything lost its meaning for me. Last Wednesday I woke up full of energy and ready to start my work. I just opened my computer and all my girl friends were talking with me about a situation I didn't understand from the beginning. I want to write about this here, because it will influence my experience here. Tuesday a really close friend passed away - I don't want to talk about this, I don't need to here any more condolences, I just want him back.

Lots of things happened since Wednesday, but like I previously mentioned, it all seemed vapid. Wednesday in the afternoon I went together with Zakaria to a meeting (with more NGOs present in the country) and we talked about having a volunteering law in Dominican Republic and about a future event with NGOs. And after that, we went in the Zona Colonial. I wanted so so hard to visit that area, but I walked around without actually seeing anything. My mind was totally blocked by the news I received in the morning. We drank beer and staid on a bench in the park... I tried so hard to get my ming to be there, but I couldn't. After that, we went to a bar, where I drank an original Cuba Libre :) but again, everything seemed vapid. And before we went to sleep, we ate something which was really good - on the street, like we have in Romania the shaorma places. A busy day for me, for my experience here, I did lots of things which I wanted so hard to do, but I couldn't enjoy them... So I cannot tell you right now if I liked it or anything like that. I could have walked on a street with black walls; it would have been the same for me. Unfortunately, I will never be able to remember happily about my first walks in Santo Domingo.

When I woke up Thursday I ran to my computer, opened it and asked my friends to tell me I had a nightmare. Unfortunately, that wasn't true. The most difficult part is that I'm away from my family and friends (they couldn't hug me when I needed), but I was also away from my friend. I tried to get my mind away, so I went together with some guys from the MC flat to look for a sofa, because 2 CEEDers were suppose to come Friday for the elections we were having in Santo Domingo. It was fun, but still my mind was busy with something else. We went to IKEA and Carrefour and we did all of that while outside was raining like hell. When we got into the taxi to go to IKEA, I was completly wet - like I just came out of the shower. And I just walked 15 meters in the rain. And at 2 o'clock in the morning we went to subscribe to a local gym, because they had a special offer and we want to exercise during our term - they also have a pool :) Maybe it will be nice and helpful for me :) The most difficult part during this day was that being 7 hours difference (in front) of Romania, I couldn't fall asleep until 4 o'clock, because the funeral was at 11 in Romania. My mind was there... but phisically I was alone.

I woke up Friday morning and it was very hot outside. I was not in the mood for anything. Again. We went to eat at the supermarket over the street, we came back and when we came back I went to my room and started to cry. Back home everything finished, everybody was crying and some of my friends even met to talk about some good memories. But I was alone, in my room. No one to hug me, no sholder to cry on, and especially, I was not able to ever see my friend ever again. I tried to put my mind away so I went to shop an agenda for my sales meetings. I was so happy, because I found a very nice one CSR style :) And when we came back home, we used the carrito - the public taxi, which is able to transport more persons (4 in the back and 2 in the front). That night I went to a party. From that moment on, I started to feel very very alone. Everybody around me started to put presure on me to get over what was happening back home. But I couldn't. After some hours of trying to socialize, I couldn't dance, I couldn't laugh... I couldn't get over it, so I decided it's better for me to go home.

Saturday morning I woke up pretty late again - I love sleeping late nowadays. I'm always hoping, apparently, that if I sleep a lot, I will wake up and everything would be as it was 2 weeks ago. Unfornately is not like that and I'm also skipping breakfast :( Saturday we had elections for the EB of Santo Domingo. This time, I proved again how dedicated I'm to my work, because for the first time in one week, I was focused and I was able to understand all the candidatures in Spanish and I was even capable to ask questions. But in the moment when everything finished, my mind was again with my friend. We had a party at the MC flat where lots of persons came. I managed to stay awake until 3 o'clock in the morning, drinking and talking with people. I decided I should try even harder to communicate with members here and to appear normal. I didn't want them to know what happened and to pity me. But I was missing him so bad...

Today is Sunday. I've done nothing important. But I decided I should force myself to write here about everything. Why am I writing about this, here? Because it influenced my experience here. I couldn't work, I couldn't focus, I couldn't be active and conversations... I will live totally differently this experience. Because in a difficult moment for me, I was totally alone. I cannot talk with anyone about how I feel or how important he was for me. So, this helped me to get even more out from my experience in the Dominican Republic. There is nothing I can do to change the situation - this happened, I'm here, all alone and in 6 months when I will go back to Romania for a short holiday, there will be 6 months since he passed away. Everybody in Romania have already talked about everything related to him and I will spend my Christmas holiday with my parents. But in these months, I will change and I will assimilate/digest all my feelings by myself. So my experience here changed because of this event. The only good feeling I have is that I can't wait to find out what was the purpose of this event into my life and my experience...I'm so excited to find out this. Until then, I want to thank from the bottom of my heart and with all my soul to him for everything he meant to me/us, what he did for me/us and what he was for me/us. This experience is going to be even more interesting for me :)

First feelings

I slept for 15 hours. I hope I will catch the time zone and I will not suffer so much. I woke up alone in the room, a totally new room for me. I didn't have problems with recognizing the place, like other members from the team did, but it was so weird, because I had no idea what I was suppose to do. And I was still sleepy, but I had to get out of bed.

It is raining like crazy, because apparently it is the hurricane season now. But it's cool that it is raining, because it makes it more bearable. Except the humidity which makes it very difficult to breath, the temperature is ok - 26 degrees. I got out of my room, went downstaris in the office and again I was alone. I managed to find a laptop and connect to the internet, because I wanted so hard to write on the blog about the trip I did.

Later that day, Zakaria, the MCP (Member Committee President), met with a member in the office. The strange thing: after their discussion, Zakaria went to sleep and the girl stayed with me in the office. She said is had homework to do, but later that day; until then, she will sleep a little bit. So she got out of her bag a jacket, put it on the floor (which is made out of sandstone entirely) and she slept right next to my feet, on the floor. She said that's normal for her, that's the way she's sleeping at home, as well. So, if that's normal for her, ok...

We went to eat at a sandwich place, called Emparedado, which was not so cheap, but I was so hungry I didn't care anymore. What I can tell you, from the food perspective, I love their food :) And after we ate, we went to a supermarket, where I had again so many cultural shocks... First of all, imagine the hypermarkets in Romania. Then imagine that the ones here are the same, but they have 2 floors (so they are double, actually). Second, they have so many new brands for me; but, at the crackers section, almost nothing. They had Pringles, some peanuts, popcorn and kinda that's all. I was shocked; the only conclusion I could drew was that Romanians love crackers, while the Dominicans not so much. Oh...and while another shock came, I learned some new words in Spanish, because, again, no traffic rules are respected in the supermarket as well. I learned perdon and permisa, because I had to move quicker in the supermarket than others :)

Other things I learned in my first day: never trust the cars - if you think they will give you priority to cross the street, you might be wrong. You have to put your feet on the ground of the street and wait for the cars to stop and to make you a specific sign, which means that he will let you cross the street. Also, we should never drink water from the sink - some trainees tried it and end up in the hospital with terrible health problems. Also, people here are addicted to ice; if you go into any place with food and you order something to eat, they will give you also drinks, with glasses filled with ice. Tons of ice. Also, in our house, we have a huge can, where we put the ice that we buy for ourselves from the supermarket (huge can that keeps the ice from melting). Oh... and in my first day, I drank my first rum. Local, first class, rum. We drank Cuba Libre, home made, even though we are in the Dominican Republic :)

Right now I'm starting my official work here. Apparently, I'm again in the same situation I was one year ago, in Romania. Nothing was done, I have to create lots of materials and design the entire strategy for external relations, communication and Alumni management. Which is cool and challenging, but I love it already.

The arrival

The feeling I had was that I was a package that needed to be delivered...

I all started on the 18th of June, when I woke up home. I was excited, like I was going to attend a party which I waited for years. I left home with my parents and went to the airport. I tried so hard not to cry or even think about what was about to happen. My parents delivered the package to Bogdan P, which was going to Brussels for business stuff. One of the most interesting things was that it was the first time when I travelled by plane; even though I visited other countries, I always used to travel by train or by car, never by plane. Bogdan took really care of the package and explained the whole process in order for me to be ok with everything. First flight was interesting and I really liked it, but unfortunately it was cloudly and I could not see anything. When I arrived, Bogdan gave the package to Alexu, because I was about to spend 17 hours in Brussels. I visited the city, ate the traditional meals and, of course, goffre :) I managed to sleep of 4 hours and at 4:30 Alexu gave the package to a taxi to delivered it to the airport.

From this moment, everyhing changed. The package was me. I was by myself in a completly new city. It was night and the driver was not speaking English, so I was by myself. All alone. Weird are the thoughts that run through your mind when you are put in a situation like this. My mind was trying to stick to anything that was familiar: I was so happy when I saw written "Cora" or "McDonalds". My mind was trying so hard to make everything normal for me. At the airport, I was totally lost: huge airport, everything was new for me and I had to do the check-in. They had like at least 100 desks where you could do the check-in and at least 30 planes arriving or leaving in the same period. Fortunately, I managed to do the check-in, had a coffee and also, went to the bathroom to do the make-up :) I had to look nice in the plane.

I spent 2 hours, by myself in the tranzit area, looking at the plane and thinking about how everything will be. I could not focus on anything and, of course, I could not eat anything. After the boarding, while seating in the plane, I felt so alone... I was wondering what are my girlsfriends thinking right then, if Bogdan was enjoying the team-building and the weather (he wanted nice weather, but it was raining outside) and specially, I was wondering if my parents were sleeping or crying. When the place left for take-off I started crying like crazy. I realized in that moment that I'm actually leaving 10.000 away from home and anything familiar for me. But the pilot announced us that we need to get back, because of technical problems. We turned back for 3 times - I started wondering if that was a sign and if I really want to go or I should ask to get off the plane. But the place took off. So that's it. I was leaving for 1 year in the other part of the planet. By myself. Alone. To challenge my self, to find myself, to be free, to learn new things, to be very good, to prove all the things I promised, to deliver them, to help another AIESEC country grow. My god.. I'm crazy. Oh, God, I will miss you all so much. My god...I'm actually leaving. That's it, I left.

The time spent in the plane was nice, pretty good food, Dominicans in the back, the stewardess is speaking French and Dutch, barelly English. I'm ok. Everything will be ok. I managed to sleep only one hour and I watched different TV series on a personal player I bought for the plane. 10 hours in the plane, sitting on the same place...my ass was kinda hurting. I was 100 km away from Punta Cana. One more hour. I'm here. The weird things in the plane:

1. all the Dominicans applaud when the plane takes-off or when it lands
2. the view from the plane: the island is green, filled with forests, almost no houses or roads
3. the emply spots in the air, when the plane was suddenly falling (kinda)
4. the air when I got out of the plane - you actually cannot breath because of the humidity
5. the airport is weird - 6 houses like the peasants house in Romania, only bigger. The walls made from concrete and the celling made out of branches (tree branches, yes). That's it. Oh... and inside, besides some chicas dresses in local clothes, which were taking pictures with you, almost nothing. The AC was made out of 2 huge fans hanged from the ceiling. And that's the airport.

At the airport, after I picked up my luggage, I went outside and I was looking for Zakaria, who was supposed to pick me up. Apparently, my plane landed earlier, even though we took off later, so after 15 minutes, Zakaria came.

The car we used to get from Punta Cana to Santo Domingo was a taxi, of a member from Santo Domingo. It was a Mazda, but please imagine it like a Trabant. Very old and with nothing on board working. I had no idea what was the speed of our car, because the machines were not working. We stopped for some food and when we jumped back in the car I realized again how weird our transportation mean was. The car turn-on using a screwdriver :) because apparently the car was smashed by some thieves. The trip with the car was so weird, you cannot imagine. We were driving, I think, at 120 km/h, with the windows down, because it was too hot. I had the impression at a specific moment, that we are going to take-off. Oh... and no driving regulations are respected. You can overcome a car using the emergency lane or using the land next to the oncoming traffic. :) The food I ate was really good, I like it (I'm very picky with my food) and now I can say I'm ok with the local food, or at least with what I tried so far.

I arrived in the office, did the check-in :) and apparently there was suppose to be a party. But I was too tired, so I went to sleep. For 15 hours :) And now, I'm still tired :)

The feeling overall? It's weird. I cannot believe I'm here for 1 year. I cannot believe I travelled so much, paid so much to do this. I cannot believe I'm so far from anything famliar to me. It's weird...

Before the departure

I wanted to much to write the first post before the departure; because I wanted to have somewhere clearly stated the reasons for my decision to spend 1 year in another country/culture, 10.000 km away from home, and because this way I could capture what I was truly feeling before.

Everything started in November 2009, when everybody was asking me what I wanted to do after my term as Alumni Manager in AIESEC in Romania. I found a place and a position which fitted very well my wishes: I felt that I can help AIESEC in that country develop more and in the same time I was going to get to know myself a lot more. In the end, there were 5 reasons behind my decision:

1. I wanted a time apart from my parents
2. I wanted a time apart from the guys in my life
3. I wanted to (re)discover myself
4. I wanted to prove myself I can do it, that I'm capable of fulfilling all my objectives
5. I wanted to help AIESEC in the Dominican Republic

I don't want to forget the reasons for my decision; every single time when I will feel alone, tired, when I will want to go back home, I will remember the reasons and the fact that I always deliver on my promises and that I never quit.

The second thing, which I think is important for this moment: the way I feel right now. I never counted the days until my depature and I never thought about how is it going to be. I don't like setting expectations, because usually you get disappointed. I have no idea how is it going to be and I don't want to think about this. Also, I will never count the days there or the days until I will get back. I want to fully live the experience, an experience which is going to change my perspectives, my way of thinking, my way of being, me.