Apartment searching...

So I'll move to a new apartment in Stockholm. The search has taken all my energy for weeks now and I can say this has been an almost horrible process. This is just because Stockholm (or perhaps Sweden) is not prepared to receive so many expats and there are not sufficient apartments for the new comers.

So there are a few "good" apartments (or that fit your requirements) and a lot of interested persons, which results in a "weird" market. You can either lose an apartment for the wrong reasons (someone was willing to move in a day earlier, pay a bit more, seemed more trust worthy etc), either you lose it due to "legal" matters. I don't want to explain the complicated process for renting, short story: if you want to rent your apartment, you need the board's of administration (of the building) approval. And sometimes the board might not approve you. Or anyone else, for that matter. Which obliges the owner of the apartment to either keep the apartment and live in it or sell it.

Anyway, short story I think I got an apartment today. Meaning I signed the contract and I paid the deposit, hopefully the board of administrators will approve me and in a month I can start the moving process.

But what I dislike enormously is that the entire experience took away the joy I should have now, when I signed the agreement. I was so worried and working so intensely on this, that I'm not enjoying it anymore. I'm still so worried "what if I got cheated?", "what if I find the apartment in a bad state?" etc. I want to chillax, I want to calm down, I want to enjoy it, I want to be happy I signed a contract for a new apartment and start focusing on something else, invest my energy and time in something else.

Ah, the beauties of expat life... you either love it and embrace it, or hate it and move back home. And as I'm a strong person, this experience will only make me stronger and wiser (this attitude might be influenced by the Ted video I've watched yesterday, of Dan Gilbert talking about synthetic happiness)

analytics

I'm in this analytical period right now. Analysing again what and when and how etc. Usually I go through this process when I stay for too long in one place (not necessarily a physical place). Perhaps I stayed put for too long.

And when I usually am so analytical, of course I overanalyse :) probably most girls (or people?) do that. So it happens that I lie down on the couch and I notice the first star appearing on the sky, so I'm thinking "oh, that's must be a sign" :)

If I'm not analytical, I'm thinking of running away (again): maybe a new country, a new experience, new friends will offer me a new perspective. And I'm always looking for new ways to develop myself and learn stuff. Actually I'm sure that "running away" is not the correct word. I'm not running away, I don't want to. There's nothing to run away from. I just want something new to learn. And no, I don't know why.

Since January I'm thinking I want to start a project, try to open a "business". I was waiting to feel right for it. Even my mom always thought that AIESEC should have pushed me to open my own business as soon as I became an Alumnus. But I didn't feel ready. It just did not feel right. And for 3 months now, I've been investing in courses on Entrepreneurship and this week I finalised the 3rd course. Of course, it does not feel perfect and big changes or leaps of faith will always take courage. But as so many inspirational quotes and personal stories say, when you go the extra mile, you won't find a lot of people around you. Not because it's not good what you're doing, but because not a lot of people go that extra mile. So it does not feel perfect and it's scaring the sh*t out of me, but I want to try this; I feel a good vibe from it. So at the moment, it's just an idea and not put in practice yet, it will take me some months to develop it even more and hopefully I'll manage to pilot it in less than 12 months and see if it can be developed in a life-sustaining business (or money providing project :)  as the society will say, not that I care about society's opinion).

I've felt different throughout my life. I had this constant feeling that I'm destined to do something bigger, important and that people will remember me (I'm not referring to the entire mankind, just some people). I don't quite know why, but I've had that feeling for quite some time now. Sometimes I have the feeling that I'm in my own version of "Truman show" (did you ever feel like that?) and that certain things were happening because the show was allowing me to have them. The producers considered I went through certain experiences and I gained certain competencies that were allowing me to move on to another stage/experience. I'm not spoiled (yes, I'll go that far to connecting those dots), but sometimes I think certain things will happen because they need to. Truman Show or not, if you work hard enough, things will happen (most of the times). 

I might restart to write here, more often. That was one of the advices in one of my course: document your learning experience. Maybe it helps others, maybe it just helps you (did you know that keeping a journal or writing about your experiences is considered to be therapeutic?). So maybe I'll try it.