Right person, right moment, wrong time

I met so many people in the right moment of my life, but at the wrong time of theirs. Or in the right moment of their life, but at the wrong time of mine.

I met my first love when I was 16; unfortunately, we felt we are too young for such strong feelings. We decided to wonder around the world for a few more years and hopefully, later on, we will come back. So far, nothing else than a nice romantic movie. But the ending did not happen; or it did not happen yet.

I met a very nice guy right before I left the country for my first international experience. I was too difficult for both of us to try a long distance relationship. So we decided to stop before we got too involved.

I met a very good friend 9 years ago. I did not talk to him more than 5 minutes in the first 4 years. After a weird night and 4 years of not talking, we ended up talking about many stupid, little, insignificant things; we realized we really like the friendship developed between us and we want to hold on to it as much as possible. I left the country for my first international experience and we promised to keep all our promises and work on our friendship even more. Unfortunately, the timing was wrong again and a stupid accident took him away.

Today a conversation took me in the past again and made me wonder about how sometimes it is the right person in the right moment, but at the wrong time. Someone asked me today where I was 6 years ago; just because 6 years ago I was in my rock time and because I love wine, cars and piano. But 6 years ago I did not like wine. I loved cars and piano and rock music, yes, but the wine was added a few years ago. Actually, I realized how much I love wine last year, when in Dominican Republic the wine was pretty expensive and I did not recognize any of the brands. I still remember when I went home, after one year and 2 months, when I went out with my girls for the first time; it was so hot (summer in Romania gets sometimes too hot) and I ordered wine; their reaction was amazing: why did I drink wine on such a hot summer day? Because I realized I love wine and I missed it for the past year. Anyway, today he answered in such an original way to his own question "Where were you 6 years ago?" "In the wrong bed" Don't take it out of context, it's a (also) cute way (if you don't take it our of context) to answer.

But my question stands: how do you know, that if you would not have been in the "wrong bed", you would have been in the right one? Would you? Or it was just not meant to be? And how do you know that it is/was the right (wrong) bed, if years did not pass by and you saw the results of that specific "bed"?

Or sometimes we just have to wait? Another friend told me in December 2010 (after 6 months in Dominican Republic) "good things come to those who wait". And my typical answer would be "haven't I waited enough?" But maybe sometimes we have to wait...

And other times, we just want things to fall in the right place... and we ask ourselves

You think you know, but you have no idea

One of my favourite teachers told me long long time ago that in the end you will be alone with your god. This is not a religious post and I’m definitely a person that wants to tell people what their religion should be, but I would like to look at this from another perspective: don’t judge others, don’t criticize and especially, don’t generalize. One of the most beautiful characteristics of people is uniqueness. Value it! Don’t assume that you know someone because every now and then that person follows a pattern, nor because you have the impression that (s)he is repeating a behaviour.

I know some of my best friends for almost 5 years (thank you my girls for a beautiful friendship), and I will not say I know them, but only a part of them. I’ve know my best friend for 21 years now, and I still cannot say I know him. I think I know a lot about him, but I don’t know him. I strongly believe that you need to know a little bit of all the “departments” of someone, in order to be (even) able to say to know partly that person. And still, lately, I’m hearing so many persons assuming they know... well... people :)

Besides valuing this uniqueness of people, I think we should award it also. When was the last time you did an act of goodwill for someone else, without a personal benefit? I was reading a few days ago a blog which invited us to “pay it forward 2012” – what about accepting this challenge?

I strongly believe this year, 2012, it would be the year when I will accept the most challenges and deliver ALL of them. I want to do acts of goodwill without personal benefits, I want to award more, I want to listen more (and discover more), I want to learn more, I want to challenge myself as much as possible.