Apparently I have to write...
It was a full week for me, but unfortunately everything lost its meaning for me. Last Wednesday I woke up full of energy and ready to start my work. I just opened my computer and all my girl friends were talking with me about a situation I didn't understand from the beginning. I want to write about this here, because it will influence my experience here. Tuesday a really close friend passed away - I don't want to talk about this, I don't need to here any more condolences, I just want him back.
Lots of things happened since Wednesday, but like I previously mentioned, it all seemed vapid. Wednesday in the afternoon I went together with Zakaria to a meeting (with more NGOs present in the country) and we talked about having a volunteering law in Dominican Republic and about a future event with NGOs. And after that, we went in the Zona Colonial. I wanted so so hard to visit that area, but I walked around without actually seeing anything. My mind was totally blocked by the news I received in the morning. We drank beer and staid on a bench in the park... I tried so hard to get my ming to be there, but I couldn't. After that, we went to a bar, where I drank an original Cuba Libre :) but again, everything seemed vapid. And before we went to sleep, we ate something which was really good - on the street, like we have in Romania the shaorma places. A busy day for me, for my experience here, I did lots of things which I wanted so hard to do, but I couldn't enjoy them... So I cannot tell you right now if I liked it or anything like that. I could have walked on a street with black walls; it would have been the same for me. Unfortunately, I will never be able to remember happily about my first walks in Santo Domingo.
When I woke up Thursday I ran to my computer, opened it and asked my friends to tell me I had a nightmare. Unfortunately, that wasn't true. The most difficult part is that I'm away from my family and friends (they couldn't hug me when I needed), but I was also away from my friend. I tried to get my mind away, so I went together with some guys from the MC flat to look for a sofa, because 2 CEEDers were suppose to come Friday for the elections we were having in Santo Domingo. It was fun, but still my mind was busy with something else. We went to IKEA and Carrefour and we did all of that while outside was raining like hell. When we got into the taxi to go to IKEA, I was completly wet - like I just came out of the shower. And I just walked 15 meters in the rain. And at 2 o'clock in the morning we went to subscribe to a local gym, because they had a special offer and we want to exercise during our term - they also have a pool :) Maybe it will be nice and helpful for me :) The most difficult part during this day was that being 7 hours difference (in front) of Romania, I couldn't fall asleep until 4 o'clock, because the funeral was at 11 in Romania. My mind was there... but phisically I was alone.
I woke up Friday morning and it was very hot outside. I was not in the mood for anything. Again. We went to eat at the supermarket over the street, we came back and when we came back I went to my room and started to cry. Back home everything finished, everybody was crying and some of my friends even met to talk about some good memories. But I was alone, in my room. No one to hug me, no sholder to cry on, and especially, I was not able to ever see my friend ever again. I tried to put my mind away so I went to shop an agenda for my sales meetings. I was so happy, because I found a very nice one CSR style :) And when we came back home, we used the carrito - the public taxi, which is able to transport more persons (4 in the back and 2 in the front). That night I went to a party. From that moment on, I started to feel very very alone. Everybody around me started to put presure on me to get over what was happening back home. But I couldn't. After some hours of trying to socialize, I couldn't dance, I couldn't laugh... I couldn't get over it, so I decided it's better for me to go home.
Saturday morning I woke up pretty late again - I love sleeping late nowadays. I'm always hoping, apparently, that if I sleep a lot, I will wake up and everything would be as it was 2 weeks ago. Unfornately is not like that and I'm also skipping breakfast :( Saturday we had elections for the EB of Santo Domingo. This time, I proved again how dedicated I'm to my work, because for the first time in one week, I was focused and I was able to understand all the candidatures in Spanish and I was even capable to ask questions. But in the moment when everything finished, my mind was again with my friend. We had a party at the MC flat where lots of persons came. I managed to stay awake until 3 o'clock in the morning, drinking and talking with people. I decided I should try even harder to communicate with members here and to appear normal. I didn't want them to know what happened and to pity me. But I was missing him so bad...
Today is Sunday. I've done nothing important. But I decided I should force myself to write here about everything. Why am I writing about this, here? Because it influenced my experience here. I couldn't work, I couldn't focus, I couldn't be active and conversations... I will live totally differently this experience. Because in a difficult moment for me, I was totally alone. I cannot talk with anyone about how I feel or how important he was for me. So, this helped me to get even more out from my experience in the Dominican Republic. There is nothing I can do to change the situation - this happened, I'm here, all alone and in 6 months when I will go back to Romania for a short holiday, there will be 6 months since he passed away. Everybody in Romania have already talked about everything related to him and I will spend my Christmas holiday with my parents. But in these months, I will change and I will assimilate/digest all my feelings by myself. So my experience here changed because of this event. The only good feeling I have is that I can't wait to find out what was the purpose of this event into my life and my experience...I'm so excited to find out this. Until then, I want to thank from the bottom of my heart and with all my soul to him for everything he meant to me/us, what he did for me/us and what he was for me/us. This experience is going to be even more interesting for me :)
Monday, June 28, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
First feelings
I slept for 15 hours. I hope I will catch the time zone and I will not suffer so much. I woke up alone in the room, a totally new room for me. I didn't have problems with recognizing the place, like other members from the team did, but it was so weird, because I had no idea what I was suppose to do. And I was still sleepy, but I had to get out of bed.
It is raining like crazy, because apparently it is the hurricane season now. But it's cool that it is raining, because it makes it more bearable. Except the humidity which makes it very difficult to breath, the temperature is ok - 26 degrees. I got out of my room, went downstaris in the office and again I was alone. I managed to find a laptop and connect to the internet, because I wanted so hard to write on the blog about the trip I did.
Later that day, Zakaria, the MCP (Member Committee President), met with a member in the office. The strange thing: after their discussion, Zakaria went to sleep and the girl stayed with me in the office. She said is had homework to do, but later that day; until then, she will sleep a little bit. So she got out of her bag a jacket, put it on the floor (which is made out of sandstone entirely) and she slept right next to my feet, on the floor. She said that's normal for her, that's the way she's sleeping at home, as well. So, if that's normal for her, ok...
We went to eat at a sandwich place, called Emparedado, which was not so cheap, but I was so hungry I didn't care anymore. What I can tell you, from the food perspective, I love their food :) And after we ate, we went to a supermarket, where I had again so many cultural shocks... First of all, imagine the hypermarkets in Romania. Then imagine that the ones here are the same, but they have 2 floors (so they are double, actually). Second, they have so many new brands for me; but, at the crackers section, almost nothing. They had Pringles, some peanuts, popcorn and kinda that's all. I was shocked; the only conclusion I could drew was that Romanians love crackers, while the Dominicans not so much. Oh...and while another shock came, I learned some new words in Spanish, because, again, no traffic rules are respected in the supermarket as well. I learned perdon and permisa, because I had to move quicker in the supermarket than others :)
Other things I learned in my first day: never trust the cars - if you think they will give you priority to cross the street, you might be wrong. You have to put your feet on the ground of the street and wait for the cars to stop and to make you a specific sign, which means that he will let you cross the street. Also, we should never drink water from the sink - some trainees tried it and end up in the hospital with terrible health problems. Also, people here are addicted to ice; if you go into any place with food and you order something to eat, they will give you also drinks, with glasses filled with ice. Tons of ice. Also, in our house, we have a huge can, where we put the ice that we buy for ourselves from the supermarket (huge can that keeps the ice from melting). Oh... and in my first day, I drank my first rum. Local, first class, rum. We drank Cuba Libre, home made, even though we are in the Dominican Republic :)
Right now I'm starting my official work here. Apparently, I'm again in the same situation I was one year ago, in Romania. Nothing was done, I have to create lots of materials and design the entire strategy for external relations, communication and Alumni management. Which is cool and challenging, but I love it already.
It is raining like crazy, because apparently it is the hurricane season now. But it's cool that it is raining, because it makes it more bearable. Except the humidity which makes it very difficult to breath, the temperature is ok - 26 degrees. I got out of my room, went downstaris in the office and again I was alone. I managed to find a laptop and connect to the internet, because I wanted so hard to write on the blog about the trip I did.
Later that day, Zakaria, the MCP (Member Committee President), met with a member in the office. The strange thing: after their discussion, Zakaria went to sleep and the girl stayed with me in the office. She said is had homework to do, but later that day; until then, she will sleep a little bit. So she got out of her bag a jacket, put it on the floor (which is made out of sandstone entirely) and she slept right next to my feet, on the floor. She said that's normal for her, that's the way she's sleeping at home, as well. So, if that's normal for her, ok...
We went to eat at a sandwich place, called Emparedado, which was not so cheap, but I was so hungry I didn't care anymore. What I can tell you, from the food perspective, I love their food :) And after we ate, we went to a supermarket, where I had again so many cultural shocks... First of all, imagine the hypermarkets in Romania. Then imagine that the ones here are the same, but they have 2 floors (so they are double, actually). Second, they have so many new brands for me; but, at the crackers section, almost nothing. They had Pringles, some peanuts, popcorn and kinda that's all. I was shocked; the only conclusion I could drew was that Romanians love crackers, while the Dominicans not so much. Oh...and while another shock came, I learned some new words in Spanish, because, again, no traffic rules are respected in the supermarket as well. I learned perdon and permisa, because I had to move quicker in the supermarket than others :)
Other things I learned in my first day: never trust the cars - if you think they will give you priority to cross the street, you might be wrong. You have to put your feet on the ground of the street and wait for the cars to stop and to make you a specific sign, which means that he will let you cross the street. Also, we should never drink water from the sink - some trainees tried it and end up in the hospital with terrible health problems. Also, people here are addicted to ice; if you go into any place with food and you order something to eat, they will give you also drinks, with glasses filled with ice. Tons of ice. Also, in our house, we have a huge can, where we put the ice that we buy for ourselves from the supermarket (huge can that keeps the ice from melting). Oh... and in my first day, I drank my first rum. Local, first class, rum. We drank Cuba Libre, home made, even though we are in the Dominican Republic :)
Right now I'm starting my official work here. Apparently, I'm again in the same situation I was one year ago, in Romania. Nothing was done, I have to create lots of materials and design the entire strategy for external relations, communication and Alumni management. Which is cool and challenging, but I love it already.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
The arrival
The feeling I had was that I was a package that needed to be delivered...
I all started on the 18th of June, when I woke up home. I was excited, like I was going to attend a party which I waited for years. I left home with my parents and went to the airport. I tried so hard not to cry or even think about what was about to happen. My parents delivered the package to Bogdan P, which was going to Brussels for business stuff. One of the most interesting things was that it was the first time when I travelled by plane; even though I visited other countries, I always used to travel by train or by car, never by plane. Bogdan took really care of the package and explained the whole process in order for me to be ok with everything. First flight was interesting and I really liked it, but unfortunately it was cloudly and I could not see anything. When I arrived, Bogdan gave the package to Alexu, because I was about to spend 17 hours in Brussels. I visited the city, ate the traditional meals and, of course, goffre :) I managed to sleep of 4 hours and at 4:30 Alexu gave the package to a taxi to delivered it to the airport.
From this moment, everyhing changed. The package was me. I was by myself in a completly new city. It was night and the driver was not speaking English, so I was by myself. All alone. Weird are the thoughts that run through your mind when you are put in a situation like this. My mind was trying to stick to anything that was familiar: I was so happy when I saw written "Cora" or "McDonalds". My mind was trying so hard to make everything normal for me. At the airport, I was totally lost: huge airport, everything was new for me and I had to do the check-in. They had like at least 100 desks where you could do the check-in and at least 30 planes arriving or leaving in the same period. Fortunately, I managed to do the check-in, had a coffee and also, went to the bathroom to do the make-up :) I had to look nice in the plane.
I spent 2 hours, by myself in the tranzit area, looking at the plane and thinking about how everything will be. I could not focus on anything and, of course, I could not eat anything. After the boarding, while seating in the plane, I felt so alone... I was wondering what are my girlsfriends thinking right then, if Bogdan was enjoying the team-building and the weather (he wanted nice weather, but it was raining outside) and specially, I was wondering if my parents were sleeping or crying. When the place left for take-off I started crying like crazy. I realized in that moment that I'm actually leaving 10.000 away from home and anything familiar for me. But the pilot announced us that we need to get back, because of technical problems. We turned back for 3 times - I started wondering if that was a sign and if I really want to go or I should ask to get off the plane. But the place took off. So that's it. I was leaving for 1 year in the other part of the planet. By myself. Alone. To challenge my self, to find myself, to be free, to learn new things, to be very good, to prove all the things I promised, to deliver them, to help another AIESEC country grow. My god.. I'm crazy. Oh, God, I will miss you all so much. My god...I'm actually leaving. That's it, I left.
The time spent in the plane was nice, pretty good food, Dominicans in the back, the stewardess is speaking French and Dutch, barelly English. I'm ok. Everything will be ok. I managed to sleep only one hour and I watched different TV series on a personal player I bought for the plane. 10 hours in the plane, sitting on the same place...my ass was kinda hurting. I was 100 km away from Punta Cana. One more hour. I'm here. The weird things in the plane:
1. all the Dominicans applaud when the plane takes-off or when it lands
2. the view from the plane: the island is green, filled with forests, almost no houses or roads
3. the emply spots in the air, when the plane was suddenly falling (kinda)
4. the air when I got out of the plane - you actually cannot breath because of the humidity
5. the airport is weird - 6 houses like the peasants house in Romania, only bigger. The walls made from concrete and the celling made out of branches (tree branches, yes). That's it. Oh... and inside, besides some chicas dresses in local clothes, which were taking pictures with you, almost nothing. The AC was made out of 2 huge fans hanged from the ceiling. And that's the airport.
At the airport, after I picked up my luggage, I went outside and I was looking for Zakaria, who was supposed to pick me up. Apparently, my plane landed earlier, even though we took off later, so after 15 minutes, Zakaria came.
The car we used to get from Punta Cana to Santo Domingo was a taxi, of a member from Santo Domingo. It was a Mazda, but please imagine it like a Trabant. Very old and with nothing on board working. I had no idea what was the speed of our car, because the machines were not working. We stopped for some food and when we jumped back in the car I realized again how weird our transportation mean was. The car turn-on using a screwdriver :) because apparently the car was smashed by some thieves. The trip with the car was so weird, you cannot imagine. We were driving, I think, at 120 km/h, with the windows down, because it was too hot. I had the impression at a specific moment, that we are going to take-off. Oh... and no driving regulations are respected. You can overcome a car using the emergency lane or using the land next to the oncoming traffic. :) The food I ate was really good, I like it (I'm very picky with my food) and now I can say I'm ok with the local food, or at least with what I tried so far.
I arrived in the office, did the check-in :) and apparently there was suppose to be a party. But I was too tired, so I went to sleep. For 15 hours :) And now, I'm still tired :)
The feeling overall? It's weird. I cannot believe I'm here for 1 year. I cannot believe I travelled so much, paid so much to do this. I cannot believe I'm so far from anything famliar to me. It's weird...
I all started on the 18th of June, when I woke up home. I was excited, like I was going to attend a party which I waited for years. I left home with my parents and went to the airport. I tried so hard not to cry or even think about what was about to happen. My parents delivered the package to Bogdan P, which was going to Brussels for business stuff. One of the most interesting things was that it was the first time when I travelled by plane; even though I visited other countries, I always used to travel by train or by car, never by plane. Bogdan took really care of the package and explained the whole process in order for me to be ok with everything. First flight was interesting and I really liked it, but unfortunately it was cloudly and I could not see anything. When I arrived, Bogdan gave the package to Alexu, because I was about to spend 17 hours in Brussels. I visited the city, ate the traditional meals and, of course, goffre :) I managed to sleep of 4 hours and at 4:30 Alexu gave the package to a taxi to delivered it to the airport.
From this moment, everyhing changed. The package was me. I was by myself in a completly new city. It was night and the driver was not speaking English, so I was by myself. All alone. Weird are the thoughts that run through your mind when you are put in a situation like this. My mind was trying to stick to anything that was familiar: I was so happy when I saw written "Cora" or "McDonalds". My mind was trying so hard to make everything normal for me. At the airport, I was totally lost: huge airport, everything was new for me and I had to do the check-in. They had like at least 100 desks where you could do the check-in and at least 30 planes arriving or leaving in the same period. Fortunately, I managed to do the check-in, had a coffee and also, went to the bathroom to do the make-up :) I had to look nice in the plane.
I spent 2 hours, by myself in the tranzit area, looking at the plane and thinking about how everything will be. I could not focus on anything and, of course, I could not eat anything. After the boarding, while seating in the plane, I felt so alone... I was wondering what are my girlsfriends thinking right then, if Bogdan was enjoying the team-building and the weather (he wanted nice weather, but it was raining outside) and specially, I was wondering if my parents were sleeping or crying. When the place left for take-off I started crying like crazy. I realized in that moment that I'm actually leaving 10.000 away from home and anything familiar for me. But the pilot announced us that we need to get back, because of technical problems. We turned back for 3 times - I started wondering if that was a sign and if I really want to go or I should ask to get off the plane. But the place took off. So that's it. I was leaving for 1 year in the other part of the planet. By myself. Alone. To challenge my self, to find myself, to be free, to learn new things, to be very good, to prove all the things I promised, to deliver them, to help another AIESEC country grow. My god.. I'm crazy. Oh, God, I will miss you all so much. My god...I'm actually leaving. That's it, I left.
The time spent in the plane was nice, pretty good food, Dominicans in the back, the stewardess is speaking French and Dutch, barelly English. I'm ok. Everything will be ok. I managed to sleep only one hour and I watched different TV series on a personal player I bought for the plane. 10 hours in the plane, sitting on the same place...my ass was kinda hurting. I was 100 km away from Punta Cana. One more hour. I'm here. The weird things in the plane:
1. all the Dominicans applaud when the plane takes-off or when it lands
2. the view from the plane: the island is green, filled with forests, almost no houses or roads
3. the emply spots in the air, when the plane was suddenly falling (kinda)
4. the air when I got out of the plane - you actually cannot breath because of the humidity
5. the airport is weird - 6 houses like the peasants house in Romania, only bigger. The walls made from concrete and the celling made out of branches (tree branches, yes). That's it. Oh... and inside, besides some chicas dresses in local clothes, which were taking pictures with you, almost nothing. The AC was made out of 2 huge fans hanged from the ceiling. And that's the airport.
At the airport, after I picked up my luggage, I went outside and I was looking for Zakaria, who was supposed to pick me up. Apparently, my plane landed earlier, even though we took off later, so after 15 minutes, Zakaria came.
The car we used to get from Punta Cana to Santo Domingo was a taxi, of a member from Santo Domingo. It was a Mazda, but please imagine it like a Trabant. Very old and with nothing on board working. I had no idea what was the speed of our car, because the machines were not working. We stopped for some food and when we jumped back in the car I realized again how weird our transportation mean was. The car turn-on using a screwdriver :) because apparently the car was smashed by some thieves. The trip with the car was so weird, you cannot imagine. We were driving, I think, at 120 km/h, with the windows down, because it was too hot. I had the impression at a specific moment, that we are going to take-off. Oh... and no driving regulations are respected. You can overcome a car using the emergency lane or using the land next to the oncoming traffic. :) The food I ate was really good, I like it (I'm very picky with my food) and now I can say I'm ok with the local food, or at least with what I tried so far.
I arrived in the office, did the check-in :) and apparently there was suppose to be a party. But I was too tired, so I went to sleep. For 15 hours :) And now, I'm still tired :)
The feeling overall? It's weird. I cannot believe I'm here for 1 year. I cannot believe I travelled so much, paid so much to do this. I cannot believe I'm so far from anything famliar to me. It's weird...
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Before the departure
I wanted to much to write the first post before the departure; because I wanted to have somewhere clearly stated the reasons for my decision to spend 1 year in another country/culture, 10.000 km away from home, and because this way I could capture what I was truly feeling before.
Everything started in November 2009, when everybody was asking me what I wanted to do after my term as Alumni Manager in AIESEC in Romania. I found a place and a position which fitted very well my wishes: I felt that I can help AIESEC in that country develop more and in the same time I was going to get to know myself a lot more. In the end, there were 5 reasons behind my decision:
1. I wanted a time apart from my parents
2. I wanted a time apart from the guys in my life
3. I wanted to (re)discover myself
4. I wanted to prove myself I can do it, that I'm capable of fulfilling all my objectives
5. I wanted to help AIESEC in the Dominican Republic
I don't want to forget the reasons for my decision; every single time when I will feel alone, tired, when I will want to go back home, I will remember the reasons and the fact that I always deliver on my promises and that I never quit.
The second thing, which I think is important for this moment: the way I feel right now. I never counted the days until my depature and I never thought about how is it going to be. I don't like setting expectations, because usually you get disappointed. I have no idea how is it going to be and I don't want to think about this. Also, I will never count the days there or the days until I will get back. I want to fully live the experience, an experience which is going to change my perspectives, my way of thinking, my way of being, me.
Everything started in November 2009, when everybody was asking me what I wanted to do after my term as Alumni Manager in AIESEC in Romania. I found a place and a position which fitted very well my wishes: I felt that I can help AIESEC in that country develop more and in the same time I was going to get to know myself a lot more. In the end, there were 5 reasons behind my decision:
1. I wanted a time apart from my parents
2. I wanted a time apart from the guys in my life
3. I wanted to (re)discover myself
4. I wanted to prove myself I can do it, that I'm capable of fulfilling all my objectives
5. I wanted to help AIESEC in the Dominican Republic
I don't want to forget the reasons for my decision; every single time when I will feel alone, tired, when I will want to go back home, I will remember the reasons and the fact that I always deliver on my promises and that I never quit.
The second thing, which I think is important for this moment: the way I feel right now. I never counted the days until my depature and I never thought about how is it going to be. I don't like setting expectations, because usually you get disappointed. I have no idea how is it going to be and I don't want to think about this. Also, I will never count the days there or the days until I will get back. I want to fully live the experience, an experience which is going to change my perspectives, my way of thinking, my way of being, me.
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