I remembered a promise made by 2 kids years ago... 2 kids that did not know enough, 2 kids that were trying not to make plans regarding the future, 2 kids that wanted and felt there's a too big world to discover.
I think this memory is almost 3 years old by now. I always envied people that could remember exactly the age they had when something happened; I was never capable of doing that. But I admired those people. But I was always envied by my friends because even if I could never remember the moment when it happened exactly, I could always remember all the small details from any event/meeting. Anyway, I think this happened 3 years ago. It was a cold summer/autumn night, 2 o'clock at night and we were in a place which was about to close. We were the last customers and they were trying to make us leave. We did not talk until that moment for some months and we needed to catch up with everything that we lost.
But again, just like 2 kids, we were always back to the same subject: us. It all started like a game, we were trying to have fun and discover new things. But as always, things got complicated and before we knew, we were in a different story that we knew we could not deal with at that age, in those conditions. And in that night, 3 years ago, we end up talking about what we are doing. In that weird night we made a promise, we were too young, we wanted to discover the world, new friends etc, so we could not be together then; but we will meet and talk about that in 5 years from that moment and maybe, start a relationship or whatever.
Now, when that memory came in my mind, it made me think about how we acted as kids actually. Because now, a 24 years person in a few months, I'm not seeing what happened with the same eyes. God, life is passing by and moments don't come back for ever... And that promise made me feel always comfortable with my life and my feelings, because I was always hoping that I have that as my back-up. Now, something changed and I cannot see it with the same eyes. To believe in that idea from now on, it seems for me that I need to believe, really believe in a destiny. But I always believed that you also have an influence in what is happening, not just that the destiny is being fulfilled.
I always saw myself, even if we made that silly promise, as a free person. We were never jealous, angry or over-protective. I always lived my life as a free person, with no strings attached and I was always discovering new persons, new cultures, new things about myself. Last week I felt that I maybe I need to get over and stop believing in that silly promise 2 kids made. This is the bad part of this story: I lost faith in him, I don't trust him any more and I told him that before I left the country. He promised again to win my trust back, but maybe promises are made to be broken.
We are leaves in the wind, who are you to tell that you are going to land in a specific place in the future? No matter how hard you try... you might not succeed. Who are you to tell that something is going to happen for sure? Why don't you take advantage of the present time, which is a present like all the saying are saying, and make the best out of it. Because sometimes we are kids that are making promises...
No comments:
Post a Comment