Unaware

Maybe it is my fault also... maybe I've been looking for it. But what I can honestly admit, I don't know what I feel anymore.

Yesterday it was the first day when we decided we want to start visit the city. I was so so happy that finally we were starting to move and stop working :) We went to visit the aquarium, which is very nice. Nothing like Romania, very cute organized and it looked really nice. They had so many types of fishes and turtles... and then you could see the sea, which was so interesting... We don't have that in Romania and the feeling to have the water in front of you, that big water... with the rocks and stuff... Part of me was feeling like I was in Greece, but the temperature reminded me that I was in the Carribean.

After we visited the aquarium, we wanted to visit something more. We had all our cameras, I had my video camera, so... why not try more? So we went to see Faro a Colon (Columb's lighthouse). Very weird building, in a cross shape, but horizontally, because it has some lights on it and if they are powered on, they project on the skype the shape of a cross. The building is not spectacular in beauty, but just by being weird and because of the idea it had in the back, it's interesting.

This is where the fun begins. You know... if you see a spider-web... some of them have something already caught in the web, in order to attrack other victims. Thinking at what happened yesterday, I feel the same. Somewhere, in the park next to the lighthouse, there was a ball. Yes, a steel ball. So we were curious to find out what it was, so we walked to check it out. I don't think it took more that 3 minutes and 2 guys showed up, took their guns out and they asked for everything. We just froze and we gave everything. They took my bag, which had the video camera, the cell-phone and the wallet, which had all all ID cards from Romania, money and MasterCard/Visa cards. Everything happened in less than 30 seconds. We were lucky because they didn't spend too much time so they missed a phone (so we could call immediately to block our cards) and the car keys. Also, we got lucky because apparently, there was a chance of not getting alive from there. Learning point: never look in their eyes/faces; look down - otherwise you might not get out alive. But, no one told anything before about this so, we looked at them... that was one little mistake we did :)

For me this entire experience is completely weird. First it is my fifth time in one year an half when I'm very close to dying. Second, because my good friend passed away one month ago shot by a gun. Third, because when the plane took off I was so calm...I said to my self, if the plane crashes, I'm totally satisfied with everything. I don't regret anything. But yesterday, I didn't want to die like that. And when I saw the guns, my mind was totally occupied with my friend. He died like that. Will it happen to me also?

I don't know what to say. I don't know what I feel. All the details are written here. Everybody is ok, we didn't get hurt, we are all alive. I don't want to come back home, I'm not scared about that... but I don't know what I feel anymore. And I cannot understand why is this happening to me so often?! All I know right now is that I'm really confused...