Last day

Today I remembered the last day I spent in Romania. The last 24 hours and what I have done.

I remember how I went to Ali to tell him goodbye and how I stood with him in front of my building for the last time. The discussions we had and that we said we will not say goodbye, how we promissed we will talk often and that he will answer my e-mails as soon as possible. I remember the last time I talked with Bogdan and what he told me, including the fact that he will not see me to tell me goodbye. I remember how I was running to do my insurance papers and the last meeting with my girls. That last time I drank my coffee at Starbucks and how it was. I remember that I was so pissed off about the insurance and that I tried to not think about the fact that I will not see my girls for one year, and that when I left I didn't want to hug them or kiss them or even saying goodbye, but that I left crying and they don't know that. I remember how I cried all the way home, thinking how much I will miss my girls.

I even remember the feeling I had when I was in the MC office of AIESEC Romania for the last time. I took so many pictures with all the desks and rooms, I was so so sad. I was already missing my team, my work, my Alumni. I remember the last look I took in the office, the last look I took from my window in my own room, the last look I took at my room and how I put very fast, right before I got out of the house, a picture with me and my mom. Just in case.

Now, I'm thinking about the feeling I will have the last time I will see the MC office in the Dominican Republic. My God! One of the most craziest years in my life, being MC VP and then being MCP, a wonderful team, a crazy team, a team that believed and strived for excellence, friends I will never forget and hopefully I will meet around the world in my future life, my bed, my desk, the rooms, the washing machine, the couch, the chairs, the building. And I'm on my way to the airport, I'm going home. Or maybe I'm going somewhere in Europe for one week for holidays. But I'm leaving... and I'm again sad...

Last night I had such a wonderful dream. I was so tired and I went to sleep early, but I managed to dream something. I was already home, after 1 year and he was there hugging me, telling me that this trip was so good even for him, because he managed to think and analyze everything. I don't know if I'm in love, I don't think I can be with a person I haven't seen in so many months, but what he was telling me there seemed so normal and natural. And I felt so protected and safe. Maybe I'm associating the home image with him and this is why I felt like that. Maybe it's wrong to think like that and maybe I should use this period in order to sort things in my life. Maybe it's good because I realize that actually I want him and I will never be able to change that. But it doesn't matter right now, I think... I think it matters that after that dream I felt more happy, more protected, more safe, more willing to do my job... I felt better. I think that's all that matters :)

I want to thank, again, everybody for your support. You know with what you contributed and that I'm thanking you for something. Thank you for your dreams, for my dreams, for your time, for the influence, for the good memories, for the conferences, for the coffees, for the "cico"s, for the nights and days spent together, for every every thing! Thank you!