35 days and 5 events

Some time ago, a period of 35 days started... in that/this period I had/have to go through 5 different events, important events for me, events that I had/have to celebrate 10.000 km away from home, my family, my dear ones, my friends... I wanted to share them...

First event: Happy birthday, mom! (16th of April)
The most important person in my life is my mom; she was there for me in so many moments and so any events, that I cannot describe. What we went through, only close close friends know. And my mom :) Anyway, it was a huge blow for me not to be there for her birthday. I thought it nothing important and I will manage it, but I could not even talk with her on Skype, because I was bursting into tears. I love you, mom! Happy birthday and I wish you the most important things (from my point of view): be happy and stay healthy. I love you! Happy birthday! La multi multi multi ani fericiti si sanatosi!

Second event: Happy birthday. Denisa! (19th of April)
Another birthday I missed. Again, I thought everything will be ok, but as I realized I was away from my best friends for more than 9 months and I missed too many events. I'm so scared I lost the connection with them, especially my best friends (5 to count), and I will not be able to get it back. Denisa it's too special for me...I cannot find all the words to describe her and why she is so special for me: from her personality, her support, her help, her mind, how bright she is, how she is thinking and taking decisions until...all the small (but very important) details that describe her. I hope from the bottom of the heart we will always have our friendship and everything will come true for you (all your dreams and desires)...including our Brussels dream :) Happy birthday and be happy!

Third event: Happy Easter! (24rd of April)
Easter is the most important holiday in my religion. I'm not a very religious person, but being in another country with another religion so far away from home, during this holiday made me realize that it is an important holiday for me personally. I used to fight with me mom every year that I want to cook some special meals (cozonaci, drob) alone and that I want to learn and be good at it :) Or how we used to cook too much for 3 persons (how big is my family) and how we felt after the 3 days of holiday (full and stuffed with too much food). Or how I used to go to the church and get the light for the following year...light that I did not bring to my soul and home this year :( But most of all I missed my family and my friends and spending time with them. I think it's important to be with your dear ones during the holidays.

Fourth event: rest in peace my dear friend (I will always celebrate your birthday because I'm thankful I had you in my life) (3rd of May)
My friend that I already mentioned in this blog and that is not with us anymore, would have celebrated his birthday... But in my religion and culture, when the person is not with us anymore, we say "Rest in peace" and we hope that person found peace. Besides that, instead of being sad and crying about it, this year I decided to celebrate the day by remembering all the good moments and why I'm so thankful he was (shortly) part of my life. I think he would be more happy if we would remember the good moments and not the bad ones, or the fact that he is not here anymore. I'm not saying I'm better, because it still hurts like hell when I realize I will never see him, hear him, talk with him etc...but I need to see the reason for his "participation" in my/our life. I learned a lot and I discovered a lot more...thank you for that! Thank you!

Fifth event: my birthday...
I thought I don't want to celebrate it due to the memory of my friend, I thought it will hurt not to spend it with my family and friends from home, I thought I feel I'm getting too old and I'm not settled... but I don't know what I want/feel anymore about it. I know I will never celebrate here like I do it at home, because nobody knows how we celebrate birthdays in Romania... (and believe me, it is different), but maybe it's time for a change... Maybe I don't need to settle yet, I can still act like a wild horse :) (you need to read my previous blog to understand this joke), maybe I can enjoy with new friends, maybe everything is going to be ok...

I thought a lot about how these 5 events in such a short period are going to affect me, but as someone very important told me once, it's not important to be there one day of the year, but it's important to be there everyday of every year... only that I was away for a year :) They affected me by making me realize that I have to think and reflect who am I now...who is the new me if there is someone new :)