I took me a while to listen to some of my friends and keep writing on my blog, even if I'm home. I decided I should continue writing because I want to share the cultural shocks you have when you come home, because the journey does not end when you finish the experience, but it continues with all the consequences of your journey.
I came home almost 2 months ago and I have to admit I wanted to come home. I missed my country, my parents, my friends, my food, places etc. But when you come home and you stay (meaning you don't come just for 2 weeks, on a holiday), the situation is different.
I was talking the other day with some friends (which I have to admit I did not know they liked me that much) about how I truly feel since I came back. And I think the situation might be a little different because I was so far away from home and staying in touch with friends, family etc was more difficult (7 hours difference, jobs, responsibilities etc). I do not think it's the same for everybody, but I have to say I found more people in the same situation as mine.
I doesn't matter the country or the experience - you feel the change in you, you realize you changed some characteristics in you, you know you are more patient, energetic or whatever. But you have to catch up with the life you left behind. Everything is changed after one year, people have jobs, changed jobs, have boyfriends/girlfriends, someone hates someone etc, and you don't understand anything. You might say the wrong thing/joke, you might not understand a joke or you might feel left out because you don't understand the meaning of the discussions around you. And you ask for explanations, support or information.
Some of the people around you might understand and accept the fact that you are changed and they are changed; they might understand that people evolved during the past year and you (both parties involved in that "relationship") cannot take it from where you left it, but you have to make some adjustments. Some people will accept everything and start working with the new situation. Other people might not understand the changes, might not understand your frustrations and they might not want to see you anymore, ever again. And this is the painful part - accepting that life moves on and friends you thought you have are not there anymore.
I was surprised from both sides - discovering friends I never knew I have and discovering I lost others. And this truly is a painful moment - this situation can put you down and you might feel disoriented and left out (I have met people that found themselves in this situation as well, even after one year since their return).
It is a true joy and pleasure finding the country and it's characteristics. My luck was that I was for 1 year living in a country with a little worse situation than Romania - so I can say that I feel Romania has improved and it is a lot better than some places in the world. I rediscovered the food, the movies, the buses, the metro, the bars, the coffee, the smoking people (we are a smoking country) etc. And I find it all superb, because I truly feel I'm home.
This is a hard moment for everybody (when they come home, after a long period) and I know persons that even after one year still feel they don't fit anymore. This is the moment when some of us are pushed to leave again, thinking they are going back to what they had before or to a new place. Or this is the moment when some of us manage to get back in their "circles" and they will feel they can actually make the change they wanted to make, in Romania, with the help of their foreign "knowledge" and experience. Personally, I think that if Romanians would put a little more effort in the reintegration activities for Romanians that come home, our country's situation would be a little bit better.
Coming back to the original thought - to go back, I might not find what I left, because things changed there already also; to stay here, I still don't feel reintegrated enough. So I think my future is officially undecided; how I once wrote in AIESEC Bucharest: my future is a open sea of opportunities.
Showing posts with label food. Show all posts
Showing posts with label food. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Friday, April 1, 2011
The secret... you...
When you go away for a long period of time, one of the most wonderful processes is taking place. Some secret ingredients are: to be far away from home, almost no option of going home, talking even with very close friends only once per month.
When everything I mentioned and a lot more happens, you discover yourself, your true self. But a small details: most probably, all the people around you will not discover that (depends on each person, but you got the idea). When you go far away from home, for at least one year, you will automatically put yourself in a bubble, trying to protect yourself or to enjoy as much as possible without judging anything and anybody. From my point of view, that is the moment when you are making it very difficult, for people around you, to get to the core you and discover your true self - they need to break that bubble in order to find you.
I thought about this in the last week, mostly because of a lot of things that are happening in my personal life, things that forced me to think about what I want to do, who I am and why I want to do all the things I wanna do. Meanwhile I was talking with very close friends from home about our plans for the future year and I realized that I really need to start thinking a little bit more about what I want to do. And while talking with my friends I discovered that you might present a person to the people around you, but the circumstances of being so far away from home, from your friends, from everything that defined you for more than 20 years, are presenting you as a different person. Even if you don't want to do it, the circumstances are not helping you to do it differently: you many things that define you might not be close to you.
You might lack the support, your friends, the money, the power, the knowledge, the familiarity, the places, the music, the food, the coffee, the cars... or you might just lack the moments that are bringing the true you to the surface. And then I had another AHA moment. This is the perfect situation to meet people exactly the same as you...that are acting the same as you are acting home.
No, I did not meet anybody like me here yet. I had the opportunity to meet that person at home, in my safe environment; here I had the opportunity to meet people that have the same behavior that I have at home, when people do not know me. That's the difference: at home when I met that person I managed (I hope) to spend enough time in order to "break" that person and manage to see the true self; here I see the behavior of a person acting when the other person does not know the core self and when they think they can act however, because the other person cannot read them completely.
Back home the circumstances are helping me to be myself, are helping me to not not to fake, but to do/be/act exactly how I am. I used to talk with my girls about guys coming with different cars to pick us up from home, just trying to impress us; but we were doing the same: going to clubs with different cars, just to show off. That's childish, but it happens. Or how some of us are attracted by foreigners, just to talk a little bit more English or to see how a different culture thinks. But being home, in your self environment, with all the right circumstances, make you act in specific ways, ways that you would not choose as a way to express yourself when you are away from home. Because you don't have everything you have home to rely on; sometimes you know so clear that home you would react differently, but away from home you simply... cannot...
That brings me in front of a very important question for me: if you need all of those things to be able to express your true self, then how do you know everybody is true? How do you know you do not take a wrong/good decision based on circumstances which would forces you, that in a safe and know environment, to act different? I'm not lying, but I know that in some situations I might have acted differently if I would have been at home... so, am I true or am I lying, just because I don't have the right circumstances? Personally I think it's ME all the time, but sometimes I wish some people could see me at home...
PS: this is for a crazy girl willing to pursue a crazy dream with me, which is reality for us already... this is for discovering a new country, a new culture, a new experience, this is for discovering the true us!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwsSNrSEONc
When everything I mentioned and a lot more happens, you discover yourself, your true self. But a small details: most probably, all the people around you will not discover that (depends on each person, but you got the idea). When you go far away from home, for at least one year, you will automatically put yourself in a bubble, trying to protect yourself or to enjoy as much as possible without judging anything and anybody. From my point of view, that is the moment when you are making it very difficult, for people around you, to get to the core you and discover your true self - they need to break that bubble in order to find you.
I thought about this in the last week, mostly because of a lot of things that are happening in my personal life, things that forced me to think about what I want to do, who I am and why I want to do all the things I wanna do. Meanwhile I was talking with very close friends from home about our plans for the future year and I realized that I really need to start thinking a little bit more about what I want to do. And while talking with my friends I discovered that you might present a person to the people around you, but the circumstances of being so far away from home, from your friends, from everything that defined you for more than 20 years, are presenting you as a different person. Even if you don't want to do it, the circumstances are not helping you to do it differently: you many things that define you might not be close to you.
You might lack the support, your friends, the money, the power, the knowledge, the familiarity, the places, the music, the food, the coffee, the cars... or you might just lack the moments that are bringing the true you to the surface. And then I had another AHA moment. This is the perfect situation to meet people exactly the same as you...that are acting the same as you are acting home.
No, I did not meet anybody like me here yet. I had the opportunity to meet that person at home, in my safe environment; here I had the opportunity to meet people that have the same behavior that I have at home, when people do not know me. That's the difference: at home when I met that person I managed (I hope) to spend enough time in order to "break" that person and manage to see the true self; here I see the behavior of a person acting when the other person does not know the core self and when they think they can act however, because the other person cannot read them completely.
Back home the circumstances are helping me to be myself, are helping me to not not to fake, but to do/be/act exactly how I am. I used to talk with my girls about guys coming with different cars to pick us up from home, just trying to impress us; but we were doing the same: going to clubs with different cars, just to show off. That's childish, but it happens. Or how some of us are attracted by foreigners, just to talk a little bit more English or to see how a different culture thinks. But being home, in your self environment, with all the right circumstances, make you act in specific ways, ways that you would not choose as a way to express yourself when you are away from home. Because you don't have everything you have home to rely on; sometimes you know so clear that home you would react differently, but away from home you simply... cannot...
That brings me in front of a very important question for me: if you need all of those things to be able to express your true self, then how do you know everybody is true? How do you know you do not take a wrong/good decision based on circumstances which would forces you, that in a safe and know environment, to act different? I'm not lying, but I know that in some situations I might have acted differently if I would have been at home... so, am I true or am I lying, just because I don't have the right circumstances? Personally I think it's ME all the time, but sometimes I wish some people could see me at home...
PS: this is for a crazy girl willing to pursue a crazy dream with me, which is reality for us already... this is for discovering a new country, a new culture, a new experience, this is for discovering the true us!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwsSNrSEONc
Monday, June 21, 2010
First feelings
I slept for 15 hours. I hope I will catch the time zone and I will not suffer so much. I woke up alone in the room, a totally new room for me. I didn't have problems with recognizing the place, like other members from the team did, but it was so weird, because I had no idea what I was suppose to do. And I was still sleepy, but I had to get out of bed.
It is raining like crazy, because apparently it is the hurricane season now. But it's cool that it is raining, because it makes it more bearable. Except the humidity which makes it very difficult to breath, the temperature is ok - 26 degrees. I got out of my room, went downstaris in the office and again I was alone. I managed to find a laptop and connect to the internet, because I wanted so hard to write on the blog about the trip I did.
Later that day, Zakaria, the MCP (Member Committee President), met with a member in the office. The strange thing: after their discussion, Zakaria went to sleep and the girl stayed with me in the office. She said is had homework to do, but later that day; until then, she will sleep a little bit. So she got out of her bag a jacket, put it on the floor (which is made out of sandstone entirely) and she slept right next to my feet, on the floor. She said that's normal for her, that's the way she's sleeping at home, as well. So, if that's normal for her, ok...
We went to eat at a sandwich place, called Emparedado, which was not so cheap, but I was so hungry I didn't care anymore. What I can tell you, from the food perspective, I love their food :) And after we ate, we went to a supermarket, where I had again so many cultural shocks... First of all, imagine the hypermarkets in Romania. Then imagine that the ones here are the same, but they have 2 floors (so they are double, actually). Second, they have so many new brands for me; but, at the crackers section, almost nothing. They had Pringles, some peanuts, popcorn and kinda that's all. I was shocked; the only conclusion I could drew was that Romanians love crackers, while the Dominicans not so much. Oh...and while another shock came, I learned some new words in Spanish, because, again, no traffic rules are respected in the supermarket as well. I learned perdon and permisa, because I had to move quicker in the supermarket than others :)
Other things I learned in my first day: never trust the cars - if you think they will give you priority to cross the street, you might be wrong. You have to put your feet on the ground of the street and wait for the cars to stop and to make you a specific sign, which means that he will let you cross the street. Also, we should never drink water from the sink - some trainees tried it and end up in the hospital with terrible health problems. Also, people here are addicted to ice; if you go into any place with food and you order something to eat, they will give you also drinks, with glasses filled with ice. Tons of ice. Also, in our house, we have a huge can, where we put the ice that we buy for ourselves from the supermarket (huge can that keeps the ice from melting). Oh... and in my first day, I drank my first rum. Local, first class, rum. We drank Cuba Libre, home made, even though we are in the Dominican Republic :)
Right now I'm starting my official work here. Apparently, I'm again in the same situation I was one year ago, in Romania. Nothing was done, I have to create lots of materials and design the entire strategy for external relations, communication and Alumni management. Which is cool and challenging, but I love it already.
It is raining like crazy, because apparently it is the hurricane season now. But it's cool that it is raining, because it makes it more bearable. Except the humidity which makes it very difficult to breath, the temperature is ok - 26 degrees. I got out of my room, went downstaris in the office and again I was alone. I managed to find a laptop and connect to the internet, because I wanted so hard to write on the blog about the trip I did.
Later that day, Zakaria, the MCP (Member Committee President), met with a member in the office. The strange thing: after their discussion, Zakaria went to sleep and the girl stayed with me in the office. She said is had homework to do, but later that day; until then, she will sleep a little bit. So she got out of her bag a jacket, put it on the floor (which is made out of sandstone entirely) and she slept right next to my feet, on the floor. She said that's normal for her, that's the way she's sleeping at home, as well. So, if that's normal for her, ok...
We went to eat at a sandwich place, called Emparedado, which was not so cheap, but I was so hungry I didn't care anymore. What I can tell you, from the food perspective, I love their food :) And after we ate, we went to a supermarket, where I had again so many cultural shocks... First of all, imagine the hypermarkets in Romania. Then imagine that the ones here are the same, but they have 2 floors (so they are double, actually). Second, they have so many new brands for me; but, at the crackers section, almost nothing. They had Pringles, some peanuts, popcorn and kinda that's all. I was shocked; the only conclusion I could drew was that Romanians love crackers, while the Dominicans not so much. Oh...and while another shock came, I learned some new words in Spanish, because, again, no traffic rules are respected in the supermarket as well. I learned perdon and permisa, because I had to move quicker in the supermarket than others :)
Other things I learned in my first day: never trust the cars - if you think they will give you priority to cross the street, you might be wrong. You have to put your feet on the ground of the street and wait for the cars to stop and to make you a specific sign, which means that he will let you cross the street. Also, we should never drink water from the sink - some trainees tried it and end up in the hospital with terrible health problems. Also, people here are addicted to ice; if you go into any place with food and you order something to eat, they will give you also drinks, with glasses filled with ice. Tons of ice. Also, in our house, we have a huge can, where we put the ice that we buy for ourselves from the supermarket (huge can that keeps the ice from melting). Oh... and in my first day, I drank my first rum. Local, first class, rum. We drank Cuba Libre, home made, even though we are in the Dominican Republic :)
Right now I'm starting my official work here. Apparently, I'm again in the same situation I was one year ago, in Romania. Nothing was done, I have to create lots of materials and design the entire strategy for external relations, communication and Alumni management. Which is cool and challenging, but I love it already.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
The arrival
The feeling I had was that I was a package that needed to be delivered...
I all started on the 18th of June, when I woke up home. I was excited, like I was going to attend a party which I waited for years. I left home with my parents and went to the airport. I tried so hard not to cry or even think about what was about to happen. My parents delivered the package to Bogdan P, which was going to Brussels for business stuff. One of the most interesting things was that it was the first time when I travelled by plane; even though I visited other countries, I always used to travel by train or by car, never by plane. Bogdan took really care of the package and explained the whole process in order for me to be ok with everything. First flight was interesting and I really liked it, but unfortunately it was cloudly and I could not see anything. When I arrived, Bogdan gave the package to Alexu, because I was about to spend 17 hours in Brussels. I visited the city, ate the traditional meals and, of course, goffre :) I managed to sleep of 4 hours and at 4:30 Alexu gave the package to a taxi to delivered it to the airport.
From this moment, everyhing changed. The package was me. I was by myself in a completly new city. It was night and the driver was not speaking English, so I was by myself. All alone. Weird are the thoughts that run through your mind when you are put in a situation like this. My mind was trying to stick to anything that was familiar: I was so happy when I saw written "Cora" or "McDonalds". My mind was trying so hard to make everything normal for me. At the airport, I was totally lost: huge airport, everything was new for me and I had to do the check-in. They had like at least 100 desks where you could do the check-in and at least 30 planes arriving or leaving in the same period. Fortunately, I managed to do the check-in, had a coffee and also, went to the bathroom to do the make-up :) I had to look nice in the plane.
I spent 2 hours, by myself in the tranzit area, looking at the plane and thinking about how everything will be. I could not focus on anything and, of course, I could not eat anything. After the boarding, while seating in the plane, I felt so alone... I was wondering what are my girlsfriends thinking right then, if Bogdan was enjoying the team-building and the weather (he wanted nice weather, but it was raining outside) and specially, I was wondering if my parents were sleeping or crying. When the place left for take-off I started crying like crazy. I realized in that moment that I'm actually leaving 10.000 away from home and anything familiar for me. But the pilot announced us that we need to get back, because of technical problems. We turned back for 3 times - I started wondering if that was a sign and if I really want to go or I should ask to get off the plane. But the place took off. So that's it. I was leaving for 1 year in the other part of the planet. By myself. Alone. To challenge my self, to find myself, to be free, to learn new things, to be very good, to prove all the things I promised, to deliver them, to help another AIESEC country grow. My god.. I'm crazy. Oh, God, I will miss you all so much. My god...I'm actually leaving. That's it, I left.
The time spent in the plane was nice, pretty good food, Dominicans in the back, the stewardess is speaking French and Dutch, barelly English. I'm ok. Everything will be ok. I managed to sleep only one hour and I watched different TV series on a personal player I bought for the plane. 10 hours in the plane, sitting on the same place...my ass was kinda hurting. I was 100 km away from Punta Cana. One more hour. I'm here. The weird things in the plane:
1. all the Dominicans applaud when the plane takes-off or when it lands
2. the view from the plane: the island is green, filled with forests, almost no houses or roads
3. the emply spots in the air, when the plane was suddenly falling (kinda)
4. the air when I got out of the plane - you actually cannot breath because of the humidity
5. the airport is weird - 6 houses like the peasants house in Romania, only bigger. The walls made from concrete and the celling made out of branches (tree branches, yes). That's it. Oh... and inside, besides some chicas dresses in local clothes, which were taking pictures with you, almost nothing. The AC was made out of 2 huge fans hanged from the ceiling. And that's the airport.
At the airport, after I picked up my luggage, I went outside and I was looking for Zakaria, who was supposed to pick me up. Apparently, my plane landed earlier, even though we took off later, so after 15 minutes, Zakaria came.
The car we used to get from Punta Cana to Santo Domingo was a taxi, of a member from Santo Domingo. It was a Mazda, but please imagine it like a Trabant. Very old and with nothing on board working. I had no idea what was the speed of our car, because the machines were not working. We stopped for some food and when we jumped back in the car I realized again how weird our transportation mean was. The car turn-on using a screwdriver :) because apparently the car was smashed by some thieves. The trip with the car was so weird, you cannot imagine. We were driving, I think, at 120 km/h, with the windows down, because it was too hot. I had the impression at a specific moment, that we are going to take-off. Oh... and no driving regulations are respected. You can overcome a car using the emergency lane or using the land next to the oncoming traffic. :) The food I ate was really good, I like it (I'm very picky with my food) and now I can say I'm ok with the local food, or at least with what I tried so far.
I arrived in the office, did the check-in :) and apparently there was suppose to be a party. But I was too tired, so I went to sleep. For 15 hours :) And now, I'm still tired :)
The feeling overall? It's weird. I cannot believe I'm here for 1 year. I cannot believe I travelled so much, paid so much to do this. I cannot believe I'm so far from anything famliar to me. It's weird...
I all started on the 18th of June, when I woke up home. I was excited, like I was going to attend a party which I waited for years. I left home with my parents and went to the airport. I tried so hard not to cry or even think about what was about to happen. My parents delivered the package to Bogdan P, which was going to Brussels for business stuff. One of the most interesting things was that it was the first time when I travelled by plane; even though I visited other countries, I always used to travel by train or by car, never by plane. Bogdan took really care of the package and explained the whole process in order for me to be ok with everything. First flight was interesting and I really liked it, but unfortunately it was cloudly and I could not see anything. When I arrived, Bogdan gave the package to Alexu, because I was about to spend 17 hours in Brussels. I visited the city, ate the traditional meals and, of course, goffre :) I managed to sleep of 4 hours and at 4:30 Alexu gave the package to a taxi to delivered it to the airport.
From this moment, everyhing changed. The package was me. I was by myself in a completly new city. It was night and the driver was not speaking English, so I was by myself. All alone. Weird are the thoughts that run through your mind when you are put in a situation like this. My mind was trying to stick to anything that was familiar: I was so happy when I saw written "Cora" or "McDonalds". My mind was trying so hard to make everything normal for me. At the airport, I was totally lost: huge airport, everything was new for me and I had to do the check-in. They had like at least 100 desks where you could do the check-in and at least 30 planes arriving or leaving in the same period. Fortunately, I managed to do the check-in, had a coffee and also, went to the bathroom to do the make-up :) I had to look nice in the plane.
I spent 2 hours, by myself in the tranzit area, looking at the plane and thinking about how everything will be. I could not focus on anything and, of course, I could not eat anything. After the boarding, while seating in the plane, I felt so alone... I was wondering what are my girlsfriends thinking right then, if Bogdan was enjoying the team-building and the weather (he wanted nice weather, but it was raining outside) and specially, I was wondering if my parents were sleeping or crying. When the place left for take-off I started crying like crazy. I realized in that moment that I'm actually leaving 10.000 away from home and anything familiar for me. But the pilot announced us that we need to get back, because of technical problems. We turned back for 3 times - I started wondering if that was a sign and if I really want to go or I should ask to get off the plane. But the place took off. So that's it. I was leaving for 1 year in the other part of the planet. By myself. Alone. To challenge my self, to find myself, to be free, to learn new things, to be very good, to prove all the things I promised, to deliver them, to help another AIESEC country grow. My god.. I'm crazy. Oh, God, I will miss you all so much. My god...I'm actually leaving. That's it, I left.
The time spent in the plane was nice, pretty good food, Dominicans in the back, the stewardess is speaking French and Dutch, barelly English. I'm ok. Everything will be ok. I managed to sleep only one hour and I watched different TV series on a personal player I bought for the plane. 10 hours in the plane, sitting on the same place...my ass was kinda hurting. I was 100 km away from Punta Cana. One more hour. I'm here. The weird things in the plane:
1. all the Dominicans applaud when the plane takes-off or when it lands
2. the view from the plane: the island is green, filled with forests, almost no houses or roads
3. the emply spots in the air, when the plane was suddenly falling (kinda)
4. the air when I got out of the plane - you actually cannot breath because of the humidity
5. the airport is weird - 6 houses like the peasants house in Romania, only bigger. The walls made from concrete and the celling made out of branches (tree branches, yes). That's it. Oh... and inside, besides some chicas dresses in local clothes, which were taking pictures with you, almost nothing. The AC was made out of 2 huge fans hanged from the ceiling. And that's the airport.
At the airport, after I picked up my luggage, I went outside and I was looking for Zakaria, who was supposed to pick me up. Apparently, my plane landed earlier, even though we took off later, so after 15 minutes, Zakaria came.
The car we used to get from Punta Cana to Santo Domingo was a taxi, of a member from Santo Domingo. It was a Mazda, but please imagine it like a Trabant. Very old and with nothing on board working. I had no idea what was the speed of our car, because the machines were not working. We stopped for some food and when we jumped back in the car I realized again how weird our transportation mean was. The car turn-on using a screwdriver :) because apparently the car was smashed by some thieves. The trip with the car was so weird, you cannot imagine. We were driving, I think, at 120 km/h, with the windows down, because it was too hot. I had the impression at a specific moment, that we are going to take-off. Oh... and no driving regulations are respected. You can overcome a car using the emergency lane or using the land next to the oncoming traffic. :) The food I ate was really good, I like it (I'm very picky with my food) and now I can say I'm ok with the local food, or at least with what I tried so far.
I arrived in the office, did the check-in :) and apparently there was suppose to be a party. But I was too tired, so I went to sleep. For 15 hours :) And now, I'm still tired :)
The feeling overall? It's weird. I cannot believe I'm here for 1 year. I cannot believe I travelled so much, paid so much to do this. I cannot believe I'm so far from anything famliar to me. It's weird...
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