The beginning of a new chapter

How should I start this? Well, I've been thinking and analyzing a lot lately and I feel a new chapter of my life is starting. And, due to the fact that a lot of people asked me to start writing again, I decided that writing will be part of this new chapter.

I will not over-analyze and talk to you only about the new chapter that is about to begin. But I would like to say I had an AMAZING 2011 :) I cannot believe I did all of that :) I was in Dominican Republic, I was leading an organization, I went to an International Conference in Mexico (!!!), I visited Dominican Republic, I fell in love, I celebrated my birthday in a crazy way (and very far away from home), I visited Germany, I lost my friends and then they got me back, I went home for 2 months and I re-connected with my parents, I visited Romania (unexplored "parts"), I was chair for a local conference for AIESEC Bucharest (great way to re-connect with my home LC), I got an internship in Western Europe, I moved to another country, I've got my own place, I celebrated 5 years of being an AIESECer... and the year did not finish yet. WOW!!!

Looking back at my resolutions for 2011:
- "exchange - I'm going to work in a company in western Europe and I will start the slow transition between the organization that gave me the best 4 years of my life to corporate life" DONE
- "This year I'm going to read at least that 52 books (at least one per week)" DONE
- "This year I'm going to take my parents to Rome by plane and we are going to visit the city for at least 4 days (on my own expense)" DONE (I did not take them to Rome for 4 days, but to Brussels for 7 days, so I think it compensates)

I managed to do all of them! WOW!!!

I am very proud of my 2011 and I realize it will be very difficult to make 2012 better :) I already have a couple of resolutions in my mind for 2012, but they are not decided upon yet. I will come back with news about this.

Until then, getting back to the reason of my post today, I feel that a new chapter is about to begin. You know how sometimes, before the storm comes, you can smell the rain? Or how sometimes before a storm hits, everything gets calm? I have no idea what comes now (if it's a storm or not), but something new is about to start. And I'm getting excited... actually, I already started to make some changes in my life... :)

I case I'm not writing before 31st of December, I will wish you a Happy New Year and a FANTASTIC 2012! Kisses!

Finding home

I took me a while to listen to some of my friends and keep writing on my blog, even if I'm home. I decided I should continue writing because I want to share the cultural shocks you have when you come home, because the journey does not end when you finish the experience, but it continues with all the consequences of your journey.

I came home almost 2 months ago and I have to admit I wanted to come home. I missed my country, my parents, my friends, my food, places etc. But when you come home and you stay (meaning you don't come just for 2 weeks, on a holiday), the situation is different.

I was talking the other day with some friends (which I have to admit I did not know they liked me that much) about how I truly feel since I came back. And I think the situation might be a little different because I was so far away from home and staying in touch with friends, family etc was more difficult (7 hours difference, jobs, responsibilities etc). I do not think it's the same for everybody, but I have to say I found more people in the same situation as mine.

I doesn't matter the country or the experience - you feel the change in you, you realize you changed some characteristics in you, you know you are more patient, energetic or whatever. But you have to catch up with the life you left behind. Everything is changed after one year, people have jobs, changed jobs, have boyfriends/girlfriends, someone hates someone etc, and you don't understand anything. You might say the wrong thing/joke, you might not understand a joke or you might feel left out because you don't understand the meaning of the discussions around you. And you ask for explanations, support or information.

Some of the people around you might understand and accept the fact that you are changed and they are changed; they might understand that people evolved during the past year and you (both parties involved in that "relationship") cannot take it from where you left it, but you have to make some adjustments. Some people will accept everything and start working with the new situation. Other people might not understand the changes, might not understand your frustrations and they might not want to see you anymore, ever again. And this is the painful part - accepting that life moves on and friends you thought you have are not there anymore.

I was surprised from both sides - discovering friends I never knew I have and discovering I lost others. And this truly is a painful moment - this situation can put you down and you might feel disoriented and left out (I have met people that found themselves in this situation as well, even after one year since their return).

It is a true joy and pleasure finding the country and it's characteristics. My luck was that I was for 1 year living in a country with a little worse situation than Romania - so I can say that I feel Romania has improved and it is a lot better than some places in the world. I rediscovered the food, the movies, the buses, the metro, the bars, the coffee, the smoking people (we are a smoking country) etc. And I find it all superb, because I truly feel I'm home.

This is a hard moment for everybody (when they come home, after a long period) and I know persons that even after one year still feel they don't fit anymore. This is the moment when some of us are pushed to leave again, thinking they are going back to what they had before or to a new place. Or this is the moment when some of us manage to get back in their "circles" and they will feel they can actually make the change they wanted to make, in Romania, with the help of their foreign "knowledge" and experience. Personally, I think that if Romanians would put a little more effort in the reintegration activities for Romanians that come home, our country's situation would be a little bit better.

Coming back to the original thought - to go back, I might not find what I left, because things changed there already also; to stay here, I still don't feel reintegrated enough. So I think my future is officially undecided; how I once wrote in AIESEC Bucharest: my future is a open sea of opportunities.

Roles - given or assumed?

Since last Thursday I've been analyzing people and situations around me. And it made me think about the roles we have - we assume them or are they given to us?

I will give an example (no names, no details), not because I have something specific with this case, but because from that situation I started to ask myself that question. I had the chance of observing for a very short period of time a family relation (parents included). Sometimes it takes for an outsider to see better the roles each person has in an known environment. Or sometimes it takes a longer period of time away from that known environment to be able to see the roles with your own eyes. I could see better the roles in my family after 6 months, when I went in December back home; even though, honestly, nobody wanted to accept that the situation was actually how I described it - maybe it was too painful.

Coming back to my example, the guy's role was pretty much defined: person unfitted to take care of anything or take a decision, but who can do all the work they tell him to do. He could not back the car without someone mentioning to pay attention to the motorcycles; but when delivery gets to the house, he needs to go and pay them, even though the money were already on the table and someone was at the door. And perhaps all of this because of a mistake he did in his past.

But this situation took me back to my past. I remembered, from my short childhood, my aunt's (from my dad) situation. She got married with the wrong person and after a short period she had to divorce; she had to come back home to her parents, with her tail between her legs, admit she did a mistake and ask her parents to let her move back home. Imagine what she had to go through...it's not an easy situation, but everyone can be mistaken; her family gave her automatically the role of a "failure in life"; you went out there, you tried and you failed. You came home, no money, no dream, no boy, no kid, no nothing and we have to support you. But she just came home to her safe environment, not to ask for pity, but to ask for comfort and support in order to gain back the trust in herself and to go back in the world.

One thing led to another and it made me ask: the roles we have, do we assume them or they are given to us? In my example, maybe he assumed that role since he was a kid, long time before he ever explored the world by himself and "perform" "that" mistake. With my aunt, maybe she was never paying enough attention to analyzing people and promises, maybe she was always a person that believed everything that everybody said. Or maybe people around gave them those roles, sometimes based on suppositions, sometimes because of their own fears or just because of their own perceptions about the world.

But how are we suppose to escape those roles, if people that we trust do not help us? Can you imagine how difficult it must be for someone to come and ask for comfort and support, to regain strength to go back in the world, and to be hit by an attitude of "actually, we were expecting that from you".

Personal example: my parents always believed I'm a "in the air" person. This is why they were extremely scared when I got my driver's license; they were always sure I will get in car accidents. It's true I got involved in a very serious one, but it was not my fault (the guy ran a red light). But will I ever escape that role or I'm starting to assume it? Because I strongly believe in that idea: you can be brainwashed - if someone tells you everyday that you are dumb, sooner or later you will start believing it. (if you are interested in this topic, please read "Blink - the power of thinking without thinking" by Malcolm Gladwell)

And I'm part of an organization which is suppose to help young persons develop so much that they will overcome everything :) and they are suppose to start with personal change. We want to engage every young person in the world until 2015; and it's possible. But how can I finish what I have started if I'm leaving in 5 weeks? And yes, I know, when it comes to professional I need to let future leaders to continue what I have started, but what happens with personal changes/help/relations?

In the end, I still ask myself: the roles we have, do we assume them or are they given to us? Are they given and then they become a part of us (we assume them) or we assumed them so so good, that everybody has the impression they were there for ever?

35 days and 5 events

Some time ago, a period of 35 days started... in that/this period I had/have to go through 5 different events, important events for me, events that I had/have to celebrate 10.000 km away from home, my family, my dear ones, my friends... I wanted to share them...

First event: Happy birthday, mom! (16th of April)
The most important person in my life is my mom; she was there for me in so many moments and so any events, that I cannot describe. What we went through, only close close friends know. And my mom :) Anyway, it was a huge blow for me not to be there for her birthday. I thought it nothing important and I will manage it, but I could not even talk with her on Skype, because I was bursting into tears. I love you, mom! Happy birthday and I wish you the most important things (from my point of view): be happy and stay healthy. I love you! Happy birthday! La multi multi multi ani fericiti si sanatosi!

Second event: Happy birthday. Denisa! (19th of April)
Another birthday I missed. Again, I thought everything will be ok, but as I realized I was away from my best friends for more than 9 months and I missed too many events. I'm so scared I lost the connection with them, especially my best friends (5 to count), and I will not be able to get it back. Denisa it's too special for me...I cannot find all the words to describe her and why she is so special for me: from her personality, her support, her help, her mind, how bright she is, how she is thinking and taking decisions until...all the small (but very important) details that describe her. I hope from the bottom of the heart we will always have our friendship and everything will come true for you (all your dreams and desires)...including our Brussels dream :) Happy birthday and be happy!

Third event: Happy Easter! (24rd of April)
Easter is the most important holiday in my religion. I'm not a very religious person, but being in another country with another religion so far away from home, during this holiday made me realize that it is an important holiday for me personally. I used to fight with me mom every year that I want to cook some special meals (cozonaci, drob) alone and that I want to learn and be good at it :) Or how we used to cook too much for 3 persons (how big is my family) and how we felt after the 3 days of holiday (full and stuffed with too much food). Or how I used to go to the church and get the light for the following year...light that I did not bring to my soul and home this year :( But most of all I missed my family and my friends and spending time with them. I think it's important to be with your dear ones during the holidays.

Fourth event: rest in peace my dear friend (I will always celebrate your birthday because I'm thankful I had you in my life) (3rd of May)
My friend that I already mentioned in this blog and that is not with us anymore, would have celebrated his birthday... But in my religion and culture, when the person is not with us anymore, we say "Rest in peace" and we hope that person found peace. Besides that, instead of being sad and crying about it, this year I decided to celebrate the day by remembering all the good moments and why I'm so thankful he was (shortly) part of my life. I think he would be more happy if we would remember the good moments and not the bad ones, or the fact that he is not here anymore. I'm not saying I'm better, because it still hurts like hell when I realize I will never see him, hear him, talk with him etc...but I need to see the reason for his "participation" in my/our life. I learned a lot and I discovered a lot more...thank you for that! Thank you!

Fifth event: my birthday...
I thought I don't want to celebrate it due to the memory of my friend, I thought it will hurt not to spend it with my family and friends from home, I thought I feel I'm getting too old and I'm not settled... but I don't know what I want/feel anymore about it. I know I will never celebrate here like I do it at home, because nobody knows how we celebrate birthdays in Romania... (and believe me, it is different), but maybe it's time for a change... Maybe I don't need to settle yet, I can still act like a wild horse :) (you need to read my previous blog to understand this joke), maybe I can enjoy with new friends, maybe everything is going to be ok...

I thought a lot about how these 5 events in such a short period are going to affect me, but as someone very important told me once, it's not important to be there one day of the year, but it's important to be there everyday of every year... only that I was away for a year :) They affected me by making me realize that I have to think and reflect who am I now...who is the new me if there is someone new :)

Impact

During the last week I started to think very much about the impact I have on people around me. A few weeks ago and last night I did something which reminded me even more of one of my good friends that is not here with us anymore.

A few weeks ago I started to talk with a person using a random question, a random thing that lead to something I had never have in my mind. This relation (not relationship :P ) is reminding me so much of my friend, is reminding me so much of the freedom of speech and the trust we build between us without even knowing why. But one thing that I learned from that situation 3 years ago is that you need to be open minded enough to accept that sometimes you just find someone around you that you have an automatic connection with. But I will never forget how that conversation at 4 a.m., 3 years ago, lead to a beautiful friendship, lead to something which I still have deep in my heart.

Last night I did something I have done in cold day in the winter of 2008. Because in that cold morning I have forced him to think and talk about feelings buried deep in his soul. Doing that in that moment, so not selfish, so honest made me earn a friend that has been close to me for the next 3 years.

I started to think today about this because I find it interesting: you can start a relation, a connection in a random way, but the end it's not that random. Being here, so far way from home, I was "obliged" to appreciate a lot more people around me, friends, family, feelings etc. And now I start realizing that I did something which is not me: I started a conversation with an unknown person, I was not shy how I am in these types of situations, something pushed me to be... courageous and that thing (which I cannot explain) got me to a totally unexpected situation. Something pushed me to find out more about this person and I find the situation extremely... weird, but good weird.

Sometimes we build walls around us, sometimes we get hurt and scared and we close ourselves from any contact with the exterior, sometimes we run halfway around the world, hoping it will do good to us, hoping we will never get hurt again, hoping we end up in a place where people don't know us and don't criticize. We reach a level of self protection that high that it's almost impossible for other people to get to us, in any way. The experiences I was talking before made me wanting to tear those walls down, to be opened even if I might get hurt, to stop running around the world, because I might miss something great, something great which is right in front of my eyes.

I don't know what made me to stop being shy and ask that question, but something tells me I did a good thing.

PS: going to Mexico to the international conference showed me pretty much the same thing: I met people there, with some of them I'm still talking, but even if I'm not talking with them right now (on a daily basis), something changed in us because of our interaction in that conference.

We always have an impact on people around us. It's just up to us to decide what kind of impact we want to have. And it's up to us to choose if we let people around us to have an impact on us.

Achieving dreams

Why when you achieve a dream you feel exhausted?

Actually lately I thought very much about one single question: in life, you do what you should do or what you want to do? I love asking this question to my members all the time, it tells me something about them and their way of life. But in the same time it made me think about other points of view on the same question. Maybe sometimes doing what you should so, will bring you to do the things you want to do.

Every since I joined AIESEC I wanted so badly to be present in an important moment in this organization. I was so jealous on members present in the organization in 2005, because they had the opportunity to create something which became history later. I wished the same for me. But I realized it's almost impossible, because the new vision is going to be create in 3 years from when I joined and I knew you need more time to be that important for the organization. But one way or another, I did it. I was part of the creation of 2015 vision, I added my personal touch to a vision for a huge, impressive organization and for their next generations.

But when I realized I was part of it and that I achieved a bold dream that I thought it was impossible, I realized I was exhausted. I'm not saying it in a bad way, but I think at one point in my beautiful journey in this wonderful organization I got a little bit lost. It's everything so pretty, so many nice people, so diverse, so crazy, so wild, so professional, so everything, that you risk at one point to stop seeing the big picture and to lose the sense of doing it: influencing people's life and making an impact in the society around it.

When I apply the same question in personal life, the feeling is much more intense. I know when something or someone is important for me when specific things happen, like: I wake up after minimum 6 hours with the same idea in my mind; it burns in the middle of my cheat when I talk about it, my mind accelerates when I think about it, my heart beats faster when I see something that reminds me of it etc. But the feeling is the same (just a little bit more intense): I feel exhausted when I achieve it.

My dreams are starting to get achieved; at least, the ones I had for this age. But I cannot help wondering if the older I will get the more exhausted I will feel when I will achieve my dreams? And now, why do I feel exhausted when I achieve dreams? And...can I have answers to all my questions? :)

New year, new beginnings...

Going home for Christmas holidays was a very interesting experience for me. Not seeing my friends or spending time with my family, but because I felt I need to make some changes in my life, to make some resolutions for 2011, to say goodbye to some things from 2010 or to some friends.

Home found me being weird, feeling a lot of things and being confused about even more. But being home calmed me down, offered me the possibility of thinking very clear at my past, my present and my future. And I was so happy when the time spent alone or with old friends around me started to produce results and decisions. Now, I don't want to live anymore in the past or feeling sorry for some things; I want to live the present and prepare slowly for my future. I felt the urge to write ever since I arrived back in Dominican Republic, but lack of time did not allow me. But I want to write again, to be written black on white written my thoughts, my feelings, my ideas and never to forget them.

This life took me through weird and unexpected moments, from those that proved me that I am a strong person and that I know when to stop from things that hurt me, until things that I had never even dreamed about. I don't know why, but for more than a month I feel very confident and free and capable of doing a lot of things. And I'm really pushing myself to do only things that are good for me and to stop doing things that I'm addicted to, just because they taste good for one moment.

This year I'm going to go in exchange, I'm going to work in a company in western Europe and I will have a good salary and I will start the slow transition between the organization that gave me the best 4 years of my life to corporate life. This year I'm going to read at least that 52 books (at least one per week). This year I'm going to take my parents to Rome by plane and we are going to visit the city for at least 4 days (on my own expense). These were the resolutions I managed to set so far for 2011, but I feel it's enough for this moment.

One of the best/worst moment that I went through in January was that my laptop crashed. I don't know the reason for it, but I know that all of a sudden, I could not load windows anymore and the partition with windows installed was not seen. The bad part was that I realized I could not fix it and I needed help (direct hit in my ego) and this came together with the fact that I could not ask for help from anybody (all my friends with IT knowledge are in Romania). The best things were that I managed to find friends in Dominican Republic to help me repair it and that I did not call my old friends whom I used to help me repair it usually (which means I broke an addiction). I'm so happy I could solve the situation alone, but in the same time with friends. January was a breaking point for me; I broke a very important addiction and I'm free from one of the most challenging things in my life.

February showed me the other side of the coin: that in life you can obtain things you never dreamed about. In February I celebrated 4 months with my boyfriend in Dominican Republic in the most sweetest way possible: romantic dinner in a fancy restaurant on the seashore of the Atlantic Ocean, in the Caribbeans. While being there I realized I have never even dreamed about doing that and yet it happened. This reminded me of something a guy told me home at the high-school reunion: good things come to those you who wait. I have never waited for this, but it was a good thing :)

This year is going to be changing and good :) and it started like that :)

Friends

Last days were pretty relaxed for me. I had time to do my job, my work and most of all I had the time to rest. Again obliged by the lack of electricity, or like last night, by own will, because I managed to sleep 12 hours. Apparently I was very tired and sleeping 12 hours really helped me to get some rest :)

In the last week, I talked with friends I did not talk for a looong time and it felt very good. I remember that when I left home I was thinking who is going to talk to me while I will be there, who will be in contact with me etc. And apparently, some people still remember me, some people still talk with me or read my blog.

Also I'm very happy because even after a long time being apart, I'm still connected with my MC team from Romania. I talk with them pretty often (or at least a part of them), and somehow, no matter how much time passes by, we still know about each other, what we are doing, where we are etc. I can start realizing that this team will be close to my heart no matter what and we will be friends over the years... That makes me happy, proud and grateful.

But what I know for sure is that now I'm discovering who really represents a good friend for me, who can really understand my passion and the reasons for me coming in this country, who still cares about what is happening to me while being here.

Unfortunately, I can realize I changed and I'm not the same person, mainly because of the situations I had to deal with since I was here (most of them personal), that I know that the relations I have now are affected by that. Sometimes I am sad about it, because I cannot change my behaviour or I cannot find a way to do that yet, and I can realize how the relations I have are affected and I don't like it. But hopefully, the good and important friends I have are going to accept the new person I am and together we will find a way to maintain the relation in the future.

I'm really excited about spending the Christmas holiday at home with family and friends. Sometimes I'm dreaming at night that I forgot some presents or things to do before my departure, but I wake up and realize I have plenty of time to arrange everything and not to worry.

Be there for us... we need you...

One week ago I managed to watch the Romanian 7 o'clock news live on the internet. I was so happy that I could connect for one hour live with my country. I was so happy that I could see commercials and interviews with famous people in Romania. Unfortunately, I got very sad in the next second... all the news were so bad, negative and irrelevant. And I think I did not observe this before, when I was in the country, at this intensity... I really did not like anything in it: stupid news, stupid excuses, lies, unimportant and irrelevant stuff...

Actually I feel every day that this experience is becoming more and more personal for me. I realize what I like, what is important for me, who is important, what I appreciate, every little personal detail about me. I don't like the news in my country. I don't miss them, I don't learn anything new from them, they only make me want to change something in order for my kids not to be influenced by them. I like neat things, cleanness, order and I like to see things around me organized or otherwise I cannot work. I cannot lie and I don't see any purpose in telling people what is my financial status or my family's status. I don't like to pretend. I like to clean and cook, but I like when people appreciate what I did and they don't behave like I'm their maid.

I also got a little bit scared about my future. Maybe it's because of all the events in my life in the last months/years, maybe it's because I feel the pressure again to make a decision about my next year. Usually in AIESEC getting closer to November, means that you should decide your next year, because you need to apply for that position. I started to get scared, because next year I'm going to be 24, single, without a job, doing volunteering work? From personal point of view, I'm playing. From professional point of view, I'm discovering. How much more can I do this? Don't I want to get married until 30, maybe have a kid? I want to still be the kid and to play and discover? Or maybe I can do all of them?

The thing that is in my mind a little bit more powerful is represented by the people in my life. My friends or not really. I can really start to see what they represent for me, what I want from them, what I represent for them, what they want from me... And I'm starting to take decisions about them. My team here told me that maybe I should wait a little bit more until I take decisions, but I feel that without me wanting, I'm starting to "create" the decisions...

Aerosmith said it so good in the song called Dream on:

Sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good lord will take you away

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHRNSeuvzlM

I don't want to be mean, but being to far away from my friends helped me realize a little bit more easily how you feel in this situation. Is not that you want to threat them, but slowly you drift away... if I ask your help and you postpone me, the second chance might not show up. But also, like it happen to me... you never know what might happen and maybe tomorrow you will not be able to talk with me anymore... or I might not come back home, because I might start thinking that I have no reason to come back home...

Away from home, so far away, without the possibility to go back every 2 months, makes you see the things a little bit more fixed. If you want to flex them, you need to talk with your friends which are so far away. We need to hear some things every once in a while, because we are not there to see them how we used to...

Last day

Today I remembered the last day I spent in Romania. The last 24 hours and what I have done.

I remember how I went to Ali to tell him goodbye and how I stood with him in front of my building for the last time. The discussions we had and that we said we will not say goodbye, how we promissed we will talk often and that he will answer my e-mails as soon as possible. I remember the last time I talked with Bogdan and what he told me, including the fact that he will not see me to tell me goodbye. I remember how I was running to do my insurance papers and the last meeting with my girls. That last time I drank my coffee at Starbucks and how it was. I remember that I was so pissed off about the insurance and that I tried to not think about the fact that I will not see my girls for one year, and that when I left I didn't want to hug them or kiss them or even saying goodbye, but that I left crying and they don't know that. I remember how I cried all the way home, thinking how much I will miss my girls.

I even remember the feeling I had when I was in the MC office of AIESEC Romania for the last time. I took so many pictures with all the desks and rooms, I was so so sad. I was already missing my team, my work, my Alumni. I remember the last look I took in the office, the last look I took from my window in my own room, the last look I took at my room and how I put very fast, right before I got out of the house, a picture with me and my mom. Just in case.

Now, I'm thinking about the feeling I will have the last time I will see the MC office in the Dominican Republic. My God! One of the most craziest years in my life, being MC VP and then being MCP, a wonderful team, a crazy team, a team that believed and strived for excellence, friends I will never forget and hopefully I will meet around the world in my future life, my bed, my desk, the rooms, the washing machine, the couch, the chairs, the building. And I'm on my way to the airport, I'm going home. Or maybe I'm going somewhere in Europe for one week for holidays. But I'm leaving... and I'm again sad...

Last night I had such a wonderful dream. I was so tired and I went to sleep early, but I managed to dream something. I was already home, after 1 year and he was there hugging me, telling me that this trip was so good even for him, because he managed to think and analyze everything. I don't know if I'm in love, I don't think I can be with a person I haven't seen in so many months, but what he was telling me there seemed so normal and natural. And I felt so protected and safe. Maybe I'm associating the home image with him and this is why I felt like that. Maybe it's wrong to think like that and maybe I should use this period in order to sort things in my life. Maybe it's good because I realize that actually I want him and I will never be able to change that. But it doesn't matter right now, I think... I think it matters that after that dream I felt more happy, more protected, more safe, more willing to do my job... I felt better. I think that's all that matters :)

I want to thank, again, everybody for your support. You know with what you contributed and that I'm thanking you for something. Thank you for your dreams, for my dreams, for your time, for the influence, for the good memories, for the conferences, for the coffees, for the "cico"s, for the nights and days spent together, for every every thing! Thank you!

One month in Wonderland

I just celebrated one month in the Dominican Republic.

The strangest thing is that I'm not shocked and I don't feel like I don't belong here or I miss home. I don't miss home, I don't wait to go home, I'm just doing my work. Every day I wake up, going downstairs in the office and start working. Sometimes I go to the LC office and help them with some events or work in their office. Everything seems so normal for me. I was afraid that I might be tired without any holiday after the MC term in Romania. But actually I feel that I didn't finish it and it's just continuous work. I'm working during week-end, during the nights sometimes, on last-minute things, but this is normal for me. I did that for 3 years already. I cannot stop or I cannot wish for something else for me. It's so normal...

During this month, I learned more about the culture, about the people here, about me, and also about more cultures. During our informal meetings, with the members, EPs, trainees etc, we realized that we are one of the most international team possible. When we watched the final football match from the World Championship, we were in the same room almost 15 different countries: Romania, Russia, Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, France, Marocco, Peru, Czech Republic, Slovakia, Canada, USA, Portugal, Columbia, Costa Rica. Which is so cool, because you can discover so many things about so many countries, in the same place: Dominican Republic. But in the same time, it's not so good. This country needs to get on its feet and to start working by itselves. It's not cool to have so many cultures if they are represented by trainees and by MC members or CEEDers.

Why we call it Wonderland? Because you never know what is going to happen:

* the electricity might went off
* something might blow on the street
* a bar might ask you your ID card (even if you are 23 years old)
* everything closes at 22:00 (including Gas stations)
* bars in week-ends close at 1:30 a.m.
* the code phone is 001 like in the USA
* the lights of the street are powered by the supermarket on the street (so everytime the supermarket closes, the street lights went off)
* a weird guy passes on the street at the same hour with a horse ride
* people twitter while jogg
* when the electricity wents off so does the water and the internet
* you have AC everywhere except houses where people live (usually, in a bus, you open the window to get some fresh air; here you open it to get heat inside the bus)
* Sunday everybody stays inside the house (not even supermarkets are opened on Sundays)
* even though Dominican Republic is an island, people here don't know how to swim,
* if you want to listen international music good luck finding a place where you can do that
* if you want to find out where Irish Pub is good luck with that one also
* and so many more we cannot remember now

So far, my entire experience was very interesting for me. I discovered how to be very pacience and how to open my mind very much in order to understand so many cultures and the country. I will try in the future to write more often about my experience here... maybe I will have time :)

PS: we just started the recruitment and I need to tell you that is very interesting to be MC VP Communication that does the work of OC Promotion of a recruitment :)

First feelings

I slept for 15 hours. I hope I will catch the time zone and I will not suffer so much. I woke up alone in the room, a totally new room for me. I didn't have problems with recognizing the place, like other members from the team did, but it was so weird, because I had no idea what I was suppose to do. And I was still sleepy, but I had to get out of bed.

It is raining like crazy, because apparently it is the hurricane season now. But it's cool that it is raining, because it makes it more bearable. Except the humidity which makes it very difficult to breath, the temperature is ok - 26 degrees. I got out of my room, went downstaris in the office and again I was alone. I managed to find a laptop and connect to the internet, because I wanted so hard to write on the blog about the trip I did.

Later that day, Zakaria, the MCP (Member Committee President), met with a member in the office. The strange thing: after their discussion, Zakaria went to sleep and the girl stayed with me in the office. She said is had homework to do, but later that day; until then, she will sleep a little bit. So she got out of her bag a jacket, put it on the floor (which is made out of sandstone entirely) and she slept right next to my feet, on the floor. She said that's normal for her, that's the way she's sleeping at home, as well. So, if that's normal for her, ok...

We went to eat at a sandwich place, called Emparedado, which was not so cheap, but I was so hungry I didn't care anymore. What I can tell you, from the food perspective, I love their food :) And after we ate, we went to a supermarket, where I had again so many cultural shocks... First of all, imagine the hypermarkets in Romania. Then imagine that the ones here are the same, but they have 2 floors (so they are double, actually). Second, they have so many new brands for me; but, at the crackers section, almost nothing. They had Pringles, some peanuts, popcorn and kinda that's all. I was shocked; the only conclusion I could drew was that Romanians love crackers, while the Dominicans not so much. Oh...and while another shock came, I learned some new words in Spanish, because, again, no traffic rules are respected in the supermarket as well. I learned perdon and permisa, because I had to move quicker in the supermarket than others :)

Other things I learned in my first day: never trust the cars - if you think they will give you priority to cross the street, you might be wrong. You have to put your feet on the ground of the street and wait for the cars to stop and to make you a specific sign, which means that he will let you cross the street. Also, we should never drink water from the sink - some trainees tried it and end up in the hospital with terrible health problems. Also, people here are addicted to ice; if you go into any place with food and you order something to eat, they will give you also drinks, with glasses filled with ice. Tons of ice. Also, in our house, we have a huge can, where we put the ice that we buy for ourselves from the supermarket (huge can that keeps the ice from melting). Oh... and in my first day, I drank my first rum. Local, first class, rum. We drank Cuba Libre, home made, even though we are in the Dominican Republic :)

Right now I'm starting my official work here. Apparently, I'm again in the same situation I was one year ago, in Romania. Nothing was done, I have to create lots of materials and design the entire strategy for external relations, communication and Alumni management. Which is cool and challenging, but I love it already.

Before the departure

I wanted to much to write the first post before the departure; because I wanted to have somewhere clearly stated the reasons for my decision to spend 1 year in another country/culture, 10.000 km away from home, and because this way I could capture what I was truly feeling before.

Everything started in November 2009, when everybody was asking me what I wanted to do after my term as Alumni Manager in AIESEC in Romania. I found a place and a position which fitted very well my wishes: I felt that I can help AIESEC in that country develop more and in the same time I was going to get to know myself a lot more. In the end, there were 5 reasons behind my decision:

1. I wanted a time apart from my parents
2. I wanted a time apart from the guys in my life
3. I wanted to (re)discover myself
4. I wanted to prove myself I can do it, that I'm capable of fulfilling all my objectives
5. I wanted to help AIESEC in the Dominican Republic

I don't want to forget the reasons for my decision; every single time when I will feel alone, tired, when I will want to go back home, I will remember the reasons and the fact that I always deliver on my promises and that I never quit.

The second thing, which I think is important for this moment: the way I feel right now. I never counted the days until my depature and I never thought about how is it going to be. I don't like setting expectations, because usually you get disappointed. I have no idea how is it going to be and I don't want to think about this. Also, I will never count the days there or the days until I will get back. I want to fully live the experience, an experience which is going to change my perspectives, my way of thinking, my way of being, me.